Something smells fishy, and it isn’t my foot.

Today, i had my first summer midterm for this year. It was sort of easy, which means something would go horribly wrong, and something did. I had a bleeding nose near the end of the lecture. Stuck in the toilet till it was all over. Fine.

Went to Itto’s for dinner, and had sake while me and long talked. I think it was the sake, but when i went back, i had to use the toilet 3 times, and i had the longest bleeding nose ever. 15 mins of non-stop bleeding. I’m still choking slightly from the blood. It wouldn’t stop flowing, and i think it had something to do with drinking sake. I thought it was all over during the day, but it happened once more. It wouldn’t stop and it was very watery. Had to wash my sink three times after that whole mess, and wasted an entire tissue box.

Me and long were told that Itto would cancel Saba Shioyaki off the menu, but would still provide it just for the two of us. Isn’t that nice? We felt so honoured. So the next time we go there, only we would be able to eat their Saba Shioyaki, which is very nice.

Well, enough of nice things…. it is time to confront what is ahead of me. The time has come once more. Sometimes i wonder, if this is what i must really do. This one seems to be a big one. The others all know what to expect. Some do not feel right about this whole affair, but most are ready. Well…. i guess we were all prepared for this someday. I wonder what the purification process would feel like…. then again, i won’t be going through that, so it’s pointless. For one such as myself, i cannot go through such a process, for it is corruption and chaos, are what fuels me.

And so the time is upon us again. Being unable to see the future anymore frightens me, but it was part of the deal, i think…. can’t remember. Each time, i am unsure of what is going to happen. With my extremely fragile bleeding nose on temporary hold, i may bleed to death while sleeping… that is lame, but possible. Well, at least they would be with me. I haven’t been able to find what i’ve been searching for. This contract is useless if i can’t find it…. of course, it could have been under my nose all this time…. just like the last one…. still…. this one is more closer to a wild dream, than anything….

I’m sorry, that i wasn’t able to keep my promise to you.

The blood fountain

The body is truely a fragile thing, and like most fragile objects, they break. A broken form to which has brought only pain and suffering, and to be ignored by all others.

Be it of the helplessnes, be it of the shame. or be it of fear. We shall leave not one for others in pain.

Torn from back of an angel, these blood soaked wings would only weigh him down. It can only blind his path, for it has covered his eyes, with stained feathers.

Severe the bond from the holy saint who has yet to receive a single blessing. It would only confuse his true heart, with its selfish constant cries.

Place his trust not in the body of men, but within the soul of what men has trampled upon. Salvage what was lost, and return it not to its true owner, but to the successor of time.

Heed the words of the liar who can tell no lie. From what was right, was wrong, and follow its will to find not truth, but reality.

Worship a demon, for he can never be wrong. His guidance shall lead him down not the true path, but down the thorned road.

Seek out the flaming passion of the soul,

Call out ever infinite winds of the mind,

Let forth the pure flowing waters of the heart,

Break away the chains that bind the hardened earth of the body.

Search for what is not lost, but what is found. Hold tight what thy has, for without securing it,  it would be lost from your grasps.

Drink the waters of the fountain of blood, then let yourself decide, that should it be, or should it not be.

Look back upon thy reflection of the pool, but not be drawn by it. Should you see what you see, then all is clear, but should you see what is not seen, turn and never look back.

Be weary of what you cannot see, for eyes were made not for seeing what does not exist within our understanding. Not everyone is what they seem. Do not expose the black fangs under the sheets, for it will attack when provoked. Even if the physical form on this plane may be destroyed, be weary that its existence is not.