On thoughts of Type moon and Archer-ko

Well, this isn’t exactly on Type-Moon itself, but rather on the different characters and doujin stuff. Particularlly Himura Kiseki’s Archer-Ko. The main reason why i haven’t done a blog on this subject, even though the very first time i entered the Type-Moon universe was about 6-7 years ago, is because of the coming release of Himura Kiseki’s newest work, Sworddancer 4, and also i needed to collected enough and sufficient data to be sure about most facts. The Type-Moon universe is vast and rather complex to deal with since you need to translate certain words and make sure they are correct.

For those of you who don’t know, Type-Moon is a Japanese company who creates very, very good masterpieces. Of course at least two of their franchises are 18+, so it is questionable. Their famous works are (in terms of when they came out) Kara no Kyoukai, Tsukihime, Fate/Stay Night, Mahou Tsukai no Yoru. Note that Mahou Tsukai no Yoru (Night of Magician) was done early, but never released, so therefore it was placed last on my list.

Kara no Kyoukai (edge of emptiness), is one of the most complex and romantic stories i’ve ever read/watched. I love Ryougi Shiki, and she is one of my top three favourite anime girls of all time (the other two being 1st Yamamoto Yohko from spaceship girl Yamamoto Yohko, and 3rd Cinque from Nanoha StrikerS, i like Nanoha as well, but she is 4th on my list). Maybe i like Ryougi’s personality, but her skills are by-far one of the most powerful in the Type-Moon universe. She has the Ryougi’s special trait of split personalities, though her male side disappeared during her accident. She has the skill of self-hypnosis, which is to say that once she holds onto a sword, she activates a ’swordswoman’ type trait within her which increases her skills with the sword. Also, the self-hypnosis with the sword, especially the very old sword she uses to fight Arayan, she awakens her third personality, which is the ‘original Shiki’, that is to say before the Ryougi’s skill of split personality was within her, this personality was the one she was born with. This third personality is more or less ‘God’, as Touko explains that it is linked directly to Akasha, the root of all things and the goal of every single Magi. It is possible that this third personality IS Akasha itself, which makes it ‘God’. Together with her eyes of Death Perception, Ryougi Shiki is by far the most powerful character in the Type-Moon universe i’ve seen. The Kara no Kyoukai characters were used as a prototype for Type-Moon’s more famous piece, Tsukihime.

Tsukihime (moon princess), is a rather straight forward story if you don’t bother with the minor details. But behind the scenes of each character lies a deep secret that connects the characters together. As i said before, that the Kara no Kyoukai characters were used as a base for the Tsukihime casts. Mainly with the main character. The main guy in Tsukihime is Tohno Shiki. Though the kanji is different, the pronounce is the same as Ryougi Shiki. Tohno Shiki was originally from the Nanaya clan of demon slayers. The Nanaya and the Ryougi were from the same demon-slaying organization. Tohno Shiki also experienced a near-death situation like Ryougi, and he gained his mystical eyes of Death Perception, but it is noted that his is weaker to Ryougi if you compare them. For one, Tohno Shiki didn’t get the full Nanaya training, and his mentality is slightly more meek than Ryougi, who went through the full Ryougi training to become the next successor. Ryougi Shiki can control her Mystic eyes of Death Perception, though the movie and the novel slightly differ on whether her eyes are permenently on or not. The movie doesn’t say it switches off, but most people would see it and assume it does. The novel says it is on for good. However Ryougi doesn’t suffer any mental stress like Tohno Shiki does. This can be explained in several ways, one is being Ryougi has a stronger will and mental power. Two, Ryougi ’shares’ the stress with her other personality. Three, Ryougi has had training by Touko on how to control it. Tohno just gets glasses since Aoko sucks at control, though her tendency to blow things up is rather remarkable. Tohno Shiki’s character is based off Ryougi’s boyfriend, Kokuto Mikiya. They look the same, and they have the same voice actor.

Another reused character is probably Kokuto Azaka from Kara no Kyoukai. She has an incestuous love for her brother, and her magic is ignition (flames). Tohno Akiha from Tsukihime is modelled after her. She too has feelings for her brother, Tohno Shiki, but Tohno Shiki isn’t her blood brother. Akiha has demon blood in her (ironic since her adopted brother and her crush is from a demon slayer clan who has incestuous affairs to thicken their bloodlines), which allows her to DRAW heat from targets. It would appear as though the person is burning, but in fact this is just abnormal amounts of heat being drawn that it feels like it is burning.  The two also look alike. It is noted that Akiha goes to Asagami high school, a private school for girls. Asagami is the branch family of the now gone Asakami demon slaying clan. Irony again. There is an Asagami in Kara no Kyoukai, Asagami Fujino. She has to power to bend things, and she gained Clairvoyance during her battle with Ryougi, and so she has become a strong opponent, but luckily she’s no longer the enemy. Also to note, is that Aozaki Touko, the chain smoking doll making magician in Kara no Kyoukai, is the sister of Aozaki Aoko, the crazy explosive mage in Tsukihime who gives Tohno Shiki his glasses (the glasses were created by Touko and stolen by Aoko) and teaches him the values of life. Aoko holds the record for a all-you-can-eat at some restraunt, and Touko is mentioned in Fate’s Heaven’s Feel scenario as the person who helped Shirou get back his body.

Tsukihime takes a different route from Kara no Kyoukai, the latter being more focused on the work of rouge magicians, remenants of the different demon-slaying clans, and one mad serial killer. Tsukihime goes off deeper into the magical world, introducing vampires on top of the demons and demon-slaying clans. The characters include the poor Satsuki, who became a vampire and was suppose to have her own route but that got scrapped, the twin maids of Tohno who hold a dark past Kohaku and Hisui, the curry eating loving Ciel who is unable to die, and the main heroine of the story, the True Ancestor Arcueid Brunestud.

With the appearance of sequels to Tsukihime’s story, Kagetsu Tohya, and Melty Blood, new characters were introduced, like Mecha Hisui (made by Kohaku), Len (one of my top ten favourite anime girls), Sion (also another one of my top favourite), Wallachia etc. The story just gets more complicated with each new installment, and explaning it would take a long time. Though there is the funny part about Type-Moon company having a character called ‘Type-Moon’ in the Tsukihime storyline.

The next installment for the Type-Moon is Fate/Stay Night. Fate/Stay Night is split into three scenarios. The first being Fate/Stay Night. The second being Unlimited Blade Works. The last being Heaven’s Feel. Each scenario leads the main guy, Emiya Shirou, to choose his path and which girl he stays with.

The story of Fate/Stay Night enters the realm of holy and legends with the introduction of the Holy Grail, an object that holds so much magical power that it can bend reality to the will of its users. Unfortunately, by the time of Fate/Stay Night, the Holy grail had already been tainted, and using it by anyone would inevitably lead to disaster. Emiya Shirou is a young lad who survived a fire that was caused by the fighting over the Holy Grail. His biological parents were dead in the fire, and he was rescued and adopted by Emiya Kiritsugu, who fought in the previous Holy Grail war as a proxy fighter for the Einzbern family. Emiya Shirou was not meant to have magic, not even learn it, but he persisted. His adopted father was against it all the way but finally told Shirou to do magic where no one can see him, to help others from the shadows. Kind of resonable, as magic is a double edged sword, and most people would fear it.

Important characters to note in the Fate universe, is Shirou (obviously), Saber (shirou’s servant in the war and actually King Arthur, though why is a King a female is probably because it is more fun like that. She eats a LOT due to Shirou unable to provide enough mana for her insanely vast need for it, and likes cute things, fav animal is a lion), Tohsaka Rin (an idol at Shirou’s school, Shirou’s admired person, classical Tsundere, very good at magic and teaches Shirou a lot. In all routes she teams up with Shirou. She is actually lazy and rather crude despite her facade. According to a couple of doujins, she may have a liking for chinese food), Archer (Rin’s servant, a future possible version of Shirou who came back to kill Shirou. Though he denies it, he is an A+ ranked butler since he IS Shirou after all. His reality marble is capable of killing Berserker completely and is a natural enemy to Gilgamesh), Matou Sakura (who is actually Rin’s biological sister but was given away. She has strong affinity for magic and due to her harsh upbringing and history, has a Yandere side to her but overall a nice girl, albeit naive at times), Illya (a homunculus created by the Einzbern to contain the Holy Grail. Her mother, Irisviel von Einzbern, fought by the side of Kiritsugu, and the two had a possible relationship, which makes Illya Kiritsugu’s sort of daughter, and that makes Shirou her half brother…. of some sorts).

While the rest of the characters are important, the ones mentioned are the most important. Fate/Stay Night, Shirou is more determined to stick to his ideals and falls in love with Saber. In Unlimited Blade Works, Shirou knows the harshness of reality, but refuses to forsake his goals, chosing a balance between both and this route lets him be with Rin. The last route, Heaven’s Feel, Shirou abandons his childish ambitions, knowing that he cannot attain the impossible, and settles in reality with Sakura. Fate/Stay Night scenario had been played out in the anime series, and Unlimited Blade Works would be presented as a movie.

Overall, Unlimited Blade works was my favourite, because the confrontation between Archer and Shirou was epic. And because i prefer Rin to Saber and Sakura. I like Tsunderes. It should be noted that Shirou was, or more like still is, part of the Archery club, which explains his prowess with the bow and his class as Archer when summoned as a servant. However Shirou and Archer have a special skill that is unique to them. The power of Projection. It is commonly called Tracing by Shirou, and it allows the user to created an object that is within their minds. Normally, magicians don’t use this skill in combat due to it’s difficulty, its need to have constant mana being supplied to it, and the lack of materials to form the objects. However Shirou and Archer have the ability to create objects without the need for materials, with only the need for mana, though they need not supply as much as other magicians need. This may be due to Avalon being sealed inside Shirou, or may be due to his inherent nature of helping others while neglecting his own self. Humans by nature care more about themselves than others, making the concentration for creating another object rather hard as a portion of the mind of the user would still be focused on himself, distorting the image. Well, that is in theory. How the story actually explains it is rather difficult, but this is easier to understand. Shirou’s selflessness allows him to completely focus on his object without care and creates it. His expertise lies in swords, which explains his (and Archer’s) reality marble, the Unlimited Blade Works.

In the Unlimited Blade Works, a seperate reality is created, like all reality marbles, and within this world, countless, if not infinite number, of blades are scattered across what looks like a barren battlefield. Within this world, Shirou and Archer can create any blade they had seen before, all materials provided within that separate space of reality. Problem being a vast amount of mana is needed.

A sequel called Fate/Hollow Ataraxia that is more or less weird, with a repeating cycle of days, like Kagetsu Tohya of Tsukihime. Fate/Hollow has a mixture of stories and characters, and it is complicating to jot them all down.

As for Mahou Tsukia no Yoru (Magician’s Night), it talks about Aoko and her life as a magician (or more like her time as a magic student) Not much is known about it and is slated to be released in 2010.

Okay, enough about the official stuff. Let’s get onto doujins. My favourite of all doujin writers is Himura Kiseki. His skill is just awesome. His most famous work is the SwordDancer series, which plays on  the idea of a female Archer. The story behind this female Archer (Archer-ko) is rather deep if you read his books. Archer-ko is also his original character that can be seen more like his mascot than anything. I must admit, i do like her. Himura Kiseki also created ‘Betrayers’, a very graphic, but awesome doujin for Nanoha StrikerS. Himura Kiseki never fails to impress me. His designs and stories are detailed and very intricate. I’ve been writing fics and original stories for years now, and i know how difficult it is to create such complex stories like his. Either he took the story from a friend or hired assistant, and i know he does have helpers for his work, or he is a genius. I would like to say he is a genius, but who knows.

Archer-ko first came out as a playful female version of Archer, summoned by Rin instead of the original Archer. The first SwordDancer is rather amusing, and it shows her abilities. Unlike her male counterpart, her Kanshou and Bakuya swords are thinner and longer, changing its class from blades (knives), to swords. It is not known if she has the same reality marble, but she has her own noble phatasm called “Frozen Phantasy” (also called Phantom Cancellor), which has the ability to nullify any Noble Phantasm, though it appears that she needs to correctly adjust its output to match the Noble Phantasm it is meant to cancel. Archer-ko is often discribed by people to be an older version of Illya, though i have my thoughts on her being an adult version of Emillya (if we look at Himura Kiseki’s website, we can see he likes Sakura, so could Archer-ko be Sakura? Who knows, but most likely not).

Emillya is a doujin character originally thought up by another circle, though i forgot their name (Limit Break. The original concept name was Shirou-ko). It takes place at the end of Heaven’s Feel, where Shirou was suppose to die, but Illya gave her life to Emiya so that he may survive. However the doujins take a different route in that instead of Emiya having a body that is like his old one, he ended up in Illya’s body, though altered slightly, like being slightly taller, the hair being slightly rougher, and his hair being pink. This new mix is called Emillya by Rin to disguise his existence from Taiga, who doesn’t know anything about the War or magic (though Limit Break still continues to call this character Shirou-ko in stats. Also to note, Limit Break’s conceptual sketches have a character looking like Shiro-ko but with a Magical girl look. Sporting a Nanoha-like costume, but shorter skirt for easier movement, twin tails, having ears like Utawarerumono’s Eruru, and fires noble phantasms by use of a magical bow that is fixed on the left arm. This is the same as Himura’s Archer-ko’s weapon. It may be that Himura used to work with Limit Break, or that Himura and Limit are friends and therefore allowing the sharing of designs). In Himura’s take on Emillya’s life Shirou had gotten so used to being a girl that he starts acting like a girl, much to his chagrin. So much so that he actually behaves like a girl, having feminine taste (he now like sweet things, and it noted that as a boy, he hated sweet things), wears feminine clothes, and reacts in an extremely feminine way.

Looking at Himura’s SwordDacer 2 series, we understand the world from which Archer-ko cames from. A more chaotic future, Shirou being the Counter Guardian of the World (he made this pact with the world to save lives, but instead he ended up killing people in order to save others. This fact is what pained him greatly and caused him to want to kill himself when summoned in the War as a servant). Archer-ko appears and proclaims herself as a ‘counter-counter guardian’, one who would not sacrifice a single person in order to save others. She taunts Shirou by saying ’she is the remains of the ideals he discarded’ when he demanded to know who she is.

Through these books, we can understand a few things. One, Shirou doesn’t know who she is. Two, due to a scene, we know that she isn’t Shirou/Emillya from this timeline (that if she is Emillya from another timeline, she must be summoned after the war since Shirou from this timeline doesn’t know her), as it was shown in book 1 and 2 in a flashback that Archer-ko witnessed an argument between Rin and Shirou. The argument about whether the need to sacrifice other was needed to save others. Rin then asks Archer-ko what she would do if she were in that situation after Shirou had walked off. This part shows that Archer-ko is either Illya, someone else (Sakura), or was summoned by Rin as with the first book for the Holy Grail War. There is also the case where she is decribed to have an extremely vast reserve of mana, able to surpress a curse that would kill her instantly if she did not use her magic to hold it back. Shirou is not known to have a vast amount of mana, but rather lack of mana which resulted in Saber’s infamous appetite (though if Archer-ko was Illya or Emillya, then that can be explained since Illya has a large amount of mana being the Holy grail, and Emillya is Shirou in Illya’s body). In book 2, we are shown a rather lewd scene in Archer-ko’s dream, where she is trapped by magic and is shown a dream where she and Shirou are actually lovers. While this can excite the young perverts in all of us, if we continue on, Archer-ko breaks free of the dream, and Zelretch (a famous magician in the Type-Moon universe, as well as having ties to all of Type-Moon’s merchandises), appears as the one responsible for trapping Archer-ko. He tells her that that dream sequence was something her heart desired. From this we know that Archer-ko is definitely a girl, though obvious from the beginning. Her love for Shirou may be proof of her being Illya, or someone else (Sakura?). Or it may be that Emillya has gone gay, which may be since Archer-ko is very feminine…. even her tastes and her screams of things being cute is very feminine.

However, in the third book, we find Illya. Though her body is breaking down, she is very much still alive. This part would make readers think and wonder about Archer-ko’s identity. It is still possible that Archer-ko is Illya from another timeline, but Archer-ko and Illya talk to one another like they are seperate people, not acknowledging each other as the same. Perhaps it is because (IF Archer-ko is from anther timeline, which i very well think she is) Illya and Archer-ko see each other as different people. Illya’s servants as well, homunculus who do not move into combat unless it was their master, fought hard to defend Archer-ko and not knowing why they felt the strong urge to protect Archer-ko.

However. At the last scene, last panel of the third book, we see that with Archer-ko’s body, is the treasured jewel of the Tohsaka family. This jewel is very symbolic to Shirou, Archer (male), and Rin. In Fate/Stay Night, the common prologue is that Lancer saw Shirou while he was fighting with Archer and Rin. The rule being that there were to be no witnesses to their battles, Lancer stabbed Shirou in the heart and fled. Rin, feeling responsible for Shirou’s premature death (and it was also hinted that she may have held some feelings for him or at least noticed him before), used her family’s treasured magical jewel to heal him. The jewel has been in Shirou’s care ever since. It is this same jewel that causes Rin to summon Archer (shirou) during the War. Rin initially used the jewel to try and summon Saber, using the jewel’s vasts amounts of stored magic to try to increase her chances. However the jewel acted more like a beacon, attracting whatever it connected to, which is Archer (shirou) who is the future self of Shirou and still holds onto the jewel. This also explains why Shirou summoned Saber, since he held Avalon (the lost sheath for Excalibur) within his body.

One more piece of evidence to look at is Archer-ko’s ability itself. She is a mirror to Shirou, able to do tracing on the same level as him. While we do not know if Illya is adept at using Trace, we do know that Shirou’s ability to Trace and Project swords is unique to only him. Tracing has been described as a uselss, but very difficult magic to master. His speed of tracing weapons as Archer is top-rated, so the chances of Illya being able to match up to him on the same level is near impossible. The only combination of large magic reserves and abilities of Archer is to have either a genetic clone of Archer changed into a girl, or Emillya.

Now looking at the evidence, the question to Archer-ko’s identity is rather complicated. Illya may know of the jewel, but Shirou would not give it up, more like it has become part of him. The majority of people still say Archer-ko is Illya, yet evidence is starting to push this closer to my original thought or Archer-ko being Emillya.

This has been a long rant, but reading the books has taken a load off my mind from studying continuously. Himura Kiseki’s newest book, SwordDancers 2 Book 4 is to be released at the next Comiket, Comiket 77 (31st December 2009), West hall 2, booth 68-a. Sigh, i want to go to buy his book…. but i’ll have to wait for either scans online, or i go to Japan again. I really hope to go to Japan again, it is like a Holy land for Otakus outside Japan. I know that Japan isn’t all perfect like some idiots dream it to be. Japan has its own share of problems and faults, but it is still a nice place to go, though expensive…. Tokyo and Osaka are ranked the top two most expensive places to live in Asia. Third is Singapore by the way…. Singapore… sigh, great cheap food, but everything else is…. sigh.

I’m going to start on my next fic project soon. It would be a Tye-Moon series, each relating to the others. The first one is my Tsukihime fic, named “Seven Nights”, shall feature Ryougi Shiki and Archer-ko and hint of Illya. Next would be Fate/Stay Night fic, right now thinking of calling it “Blades of Knights”, featuring some Tsukihime characters and perhaps Touko. Ryougi may appear as well though i’m still working on the lay out of the storyline. The last one to be written would be for Kara no Kyoukai. I have not thought of a proper story line, since the novels and movies ended in a nice way that i can’t think of anything to add…. i’m more of an action writer, so i need conflict. I’ll think of it when the time comes. Right now, exams, and i started on a Macross Frontier fic.  This would never end.

I wrote something interesting for my Philosophy term paper, and it popped into my head while half of my brain was processing the last Kara no Kyoukai movie, and the half focused on eating left over chinese take-out.

“Where curiousity goes, therein lies the answer, not the truth. There are many answers to the questions we seek, but the truth would only bring about a single answer to that question. Truth being the one answer that would solidify the reality, answers being the things we seek.”

Kind of useless for my paper, but i thought, meh, what the heck.

Big White Knights have large metal underpants

Ha….. it’s been so long since i’ve typed anything on this blog, so much that i think dust has filled the site….. omg, i think i can see the dust…

anyway, i finished White Knights Chronicles. I bought the Japanese version online after i failed to buy it while i was waltzing in Akihabara in Japan. I played it, and really…. I LOVED IT. The graphics is pure gold and honey…. not that i would eat gold, or pay anyone in honey. The music is also to die for…. But the best part of it all? The characters. Okay, i admit that i’m never a huge fan of the active time bar (or ATB as it is commonly called, remember FF VII and FF VIII?). And this game goes further by letting you run free as the bar (or in this case, circle), fills up. BUT BE WARNED!!! IT IS SIMPLY A FACADE!!! Running around and hoping your enemy cannot hit you when he tries to does NOTHING. This game is really like any old JRPG, based off stats.

But the characters are nice. And the loading times are nearly non-existent…. to point where it actually irritates me. I wanna take a quick break, but then i know i would most likely die if i do nothing while gigantic enemies swarm all over me. I created my own character, and the option of being able to customize my characters anyway i want is a win for me. I love that. So i created a short girl with longer white hair… She’s cute. And i made her specialize in the two handed swords and bow. Her third option would be single sword, followed by spears. I don’t know anyone who is good with an axe….

Anyway, training in the game is something that really wasted my time, but maybe it was well worth it. Trying to get my character to be stronger, the urge to gain more stats, to increase her attack power, her defence power, her speed, her evasion, her everything! But i also realized i may have done a few things wrong with her…. well, nevermind. She can take down most giants in less than five minutes. That isn’t saying much though, since i’m sure many others can.

The funny thing about the game is that there seems to a huge number of giant monsters lumbering about. To anyone who knows the game, some of the characters can transform into giant Knights using ‘arcs’, or simply put it, ancient artifacts. So i guess those giant monsters are meant to let you use those Knight transformations to whoop ass…. but i ignore that, and charge at it like David fighting Goliath…. or simply an idiot running to his doom. But i triumph multiple times…. in fact, i only use the Knight transformations (by my own accord, and not following the storyline), in boss fights. You may wonder, isn’t using those transformations during boss fight the main idea ofthe storyline? Ah, but there are some boss fights where you can just defeat using your normal party. And that just proves how powerful your party really is. I defeated more than half of the bosses in the game using my own party, and not any giant clanking, faceless man/woman-transforming-machine.

Another thing that irritates me about this game…. the ‘item building’. You know, the special option of you collecting materials and going to a specific guy…. or frog, and creating very nice equipments….. Now….. the thing about this is that most of the materials are nearly non-existent….. OKAY, so that do exist, but most of the items that you create, and are at a lower level than the armour you have by the time you find the monster who drops those materials…. so it makes the armour, or weapon completely useless.

okay, now for the storyline…. SPOILERS!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!! TURN AWAY IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE… SOMETHING…. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

So the storyline…. what can i say?…. CLICHE AND CLIFF-HANGER!!!! WTF?! CLICHE!!!! Ordinary boy (who turns out to be not so ordinary after all) falls in love with princess, and sneaks into ball where the princess is having her coming of age ceremony…. or something along those lines. Then enemy bursts in, storming the castle and town…. boy rescues princess, and leads her away, only to find the White knight…. okay, not so cliche on that part, but here is where it gets back on the cliche train… princess gets kidnapped…. and boy goes to rescue her…. cliche right? EXACTLY!!! Now, where does your character fit in? The one you created? Oh…. appears only as a new helper in the store where the boy works…. and so your character gets dragged along without a word…. YES, YOU DON’T SPEAK. Your character simply stands in the back of the group as people shout stuff, discuss things…. sigh, well, you can’t ruin the story with your character blabbering….

So let’s see the characters:

-Lenard (レナルド)
unknown age (possibly over 100)
Male
Has the White Knight
Likes the princess (duh)
pretty naive and out-going, typical main male lead

-Yuri (ユウリ)
unknown age (she may be the same as Lenard, but no proof so far)
female
childhood friend to Lenard
Knightless
Likes Lenard (DUH)
Feeling slightly jealous of princess (DUH)
out-going, tomboyish, typical childhood friend to dumb main male.

-Eldoa (エルドア)
unknown age (unlike the Knight contractees, he claimed to travel through time, so by law of physics, he is the same age as he was before he jumped time)
Ex-knight to the Queen of one of the two warring nations during the great war that gave birth to the Knights…. His Queen was the one who sealed the Knights of the enemy nation.
He vows to protect the reincarnation of his Queen, who just so happened to be the princess (CLICHE)

-Ceasar (シーザー)
unknown age (possibly same age as Lenard, but could be older by a year or two)
adopted son of the mayor of a city on top of a giant stone mutated turtle…. forgot the name, sorry, but i like that town alot.
He is REALLY good at artwork, able to duplicate an extremely rare piece of artwork to the finest detail, though colour seemed to be a problem for him.
He has a bad habit of looking into people’s heart and character with the use of his power, Dragon Eye.
Has the Dragon Knight (which is pink…. why pink?!)
Likes Kara (how sweet)
He is the most laid back on the entire group, though can be serious if the need for it arises.

-Kara (カーラ)
unknown age (possibly over 100, maybe younger than ceasar by one or two years)
she seems to be slightly bitchy, but a nice person overall
very analytical
Has the Black Knight (though she dies in the end, and the Black Knight goes to that one eye green goblin dude)
likes Ceasar (hinted that she and Ceasar used to play with each other when young)
blindly follows the eldest of the contractee children, even when she knows it is wrong.
As stated above, she dies. She also betrays the group not too long after she joins…. don’t bother training her. She dies before she can rejoin your party… which sucks, because i really wanted to play the black knight.
She is the black armoured person, but she isn’t the one who killed the King. Lenard saw two black armoured people and thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. No, lenard boy, you didn’t not see wrong, nor do you need glasses.

-Princess Shizuna (シズナ様、シズナ姫)
the main princess of story
is actually the reincarnation of an ancient Queen who sealed away the Knights and their weapons
a typical dojiko, actually she doesn’t actually fall, but she does seem like one who would.
can be serious at times, but still gives off a dojiko feeling
can go into trances often and chant weird words to releases Knights and their powers.
keeps on getting kidnapped over and over again
she lost her voice when her mother was killed before her eyes, and never spoke till her father was stabbed before her eyes…. what an ironic twist of fate.
likes lenard (for whatever reason besides that he constantly declares that he will save her, i do not know)
she met lenard once when lenard visited the castle as a small boy. She chased him, and smiled to him…. unbeknownst to Lenard, she was looking at the butterfly that was perched on his head, though let’s just let the boy day-dream a bit longer.

Okay, so that’s the main cast…. i didn’t add the enemies, because there are simply too many…. or i just forgot their names. Now, let’s talk about the Knights…..

In ancient times, two great nations waged war upon each other. I forgot their names, so let’s just call them A and B. Shut up, i’m also sad to not remember their names.

So A is the one where Eldoa came from, led by the Queen who would later become Shizuna. B is the nation which is basically down-right evil…. They created the Knights. The Knights, used by B, had to have a source of energy to run. And they used babies and children. These babies and children formed pacts and contracts with the Knights, exchanging life energy for power. Nation A then used some special skill (or they just whoop ass), and defeated nation B, sealing the Knights in the process. Of the Knights that Nation B made, five remained (or that there were only five in the beginning, i’m not sure, i was cooking when they were explaining). The Queen of nation A died shortly after from wounds and exhaustion from sealing the Knigths. The King of nation B is missing and isn’t dead.

Okay, skip a few years. A group of adventurers and excavators dug and found an ancient temple, revealling four babies and one young boy. These five were the contractees for the sealed Knights, and somehow or rather, they survived (probably with magic, and or cold sleep…. replace science with magic, and cold sleep is possible). They were brought to a village, where they were raised, but something happened, and they were forced to seperate. The young boy, disappeared with one of the babies, who had already grown slightly. This boy would be main antagonist…. forgot his name. The child he took would be Kara.

One of the child was left in the care of the mayor of that mechanized town on top of a mutated turtle….. i really forgot it’s name. That child would be Ceasar. Another child would be left in the hands of a beastman who runs a store in the starting city. This boy is Lenard. The last child’s fate is unknown. It could be Yuri, it could be your character (though that is HIGHLY VERY UNLIKELY), or it could be the captain of the guards (he is an orphan as well).

So the Knights each follow a theme.

-White Knight (Lenard)
human type
sword and shield and a cape
specialize in defensive, alright with offence
The arc is a gauntlet with a dagger to slot into the gaunlet (slotting the dagger into the gauntlet activated it the first time, other times, Lenard just seems to wave his hand over the gauntlet… the animators were getting lazy)

-Black Knight (Kara)
Bird type
one sword, and a pair of wicked black wings
specialize in speed, evasion, and it’s long range is killer
The arc is a black flaming sword (drawing it activates it)

-Dragon Knight (Ceasar)
Dragon type
Trident/spear, nice dragon wings, but why pink.
specialize in long reach, offence is highest amongst the first three
Why pink?!
The arc is a…. belt…. i can’t…. say…. anymore… (…. locking, clipping the belt activates it…. lame.)

-Sun god, 　太陽王 (oni-san…. that’s what they called him at the end.)
Emperor type…. can i say it has a sunny disposition?
Cross arms, yellow, shiny, looking very boss like
Is said to be the strongest of the five remaining Knights, but when i fought it, it practically did nothing (mainly because it’s powers were being sealed by Shizuna)…. it’s powers were sealed by Shizuna so oni-san can’t use it. Too bad
The arc is a plain mask. (You put it on to activate it…. what else? Piss on it?)
The last Knight has not been revealled, and we can only guess on its theme. So two Knights are with you, and two are with the enemy, but who is the last contractee? And what are its powers? Like i said, the game ended in a Cliff-hanger, so i don’t know. Need to wait for the second installment.

let’s see the list of potential last contractee:
-Yuri
she is around the same age as Lenard, and they never introduced her parents, or foster parents, so she could be an orphan.
she is the childhood friend of Lenard.
A cliche storyline if she is the last, her jealousy towards Shizuna causes her to turn over to the bad side, letting the enemy have three Knights. Hey, it would be too easy for the good guys if they have more Knights than the enemy, even if the enemy has the freaking strongest Knight.
Probability that she is the last: 70% (the percentage is not counting overall, but rather the chances individually)

-Captain of the guards (i don’t know his name, nor do i want to know)
He was brought to the castle before the King as an Orphan
He was adopted by the King
After the King was murdered, he left the Castle and the Kingdom with four of his men, wandering around the map with no goal in sight…. even at the end, they are still wandering…. i think they’re lost…..
If he is the last contractee, a storyline would follow like this: He finds a way to forgive himself, and redeem himself for not protecting his foster father, the King, and jumps into the fight at the last minute, brandishing his power… or he would succumb to madness and just destroy a whole lot of things before Lenard comes and calms him down. Either way, even if he is a bad guy, he wouldn’t stay a bad guy for long.
Probability that he is the last Contractee: 60%

-Your character
….. really, i don’t think so….
your character is silent, neither agreeing nor disagreeing
your character is simply dragged along with the series of events…. see? This is what happens when you don’t speak! you go on a wild and stupid adventure on your first day at work!!!
It is not likely that your character is the last contractee, since this game includes online play with your character. And online play with Knights is simply cheat.
Probabilty that he/she is the last contractee: 1%

-New character
Well, it is typical for companies who release a series instead of everything in one disc to not finish creating everything, like characters, maps, weapons, etc.
Since it is a new character, nothing more to say
50-50 for good and bad…. most likely bad side and you would have to fight it/him/her/them…. (hey, who knows…. maybe the original contractee died and the replacement was more than one? Two people morph into one…. weird)
Probability that he/she/it/them is/are the last contractee: 50%

Okay, so it seems weird, doesn’t it? We’ve got a lot of strange things happening in the game, and weird people….. at the end of the game, everything supposedly goes back to normal, but we ALL KNOW that nothing is going back to normal. Oni-san is on an island gathering up new forces, the prime minister of Shizuna’s country is working with that evil oni-san, that green one eyed globin dude has the black knight (and when he transforms… he is fugly…. and i really want to kill him for killing Kara and taking the black knight for himself… i’m going to kill him the next game and fuck up his insides, take the black knight and then fuck him up overkill style.)

Another weird thing…. you can finish this game with your party around level 37…. my main character was level 39, but that’s besides the point. Training is really tough…. but i think it’s well worth it…. always train your party so that they would be at least 5~10 levels above the monsters in the lastest area you’ve been to. That way, you wouldn’t have to use health potions….. i never used a single potion…. except action potions, since they replenish AP…. and AP is hard to replenish…. either kill enemies, enemies hit you, you deal specific damage to enemies, etc. But watching your character do a complete overkill combo, ending it with an arieal attack is totally worth it.

Oh yeah, here’s a break down of weapon types:

-Single handed weapon (sword, knives, maces)
can equip shield
fast, average damage
has an amazing number of arial hits
main stat increases are:
-speed (evasion andspeed of ATB, though mainly evasion)
-weapons usage (accuracy)
-strength (damage)

-two handed weapon (Normal two handed weapons, and Katana types, huge ass cleavers included…. Higurashi anyone?)
coolest collection of weapon
slow, heavy damage
it’s cool, and deals heavy damage, but hard to stack combo…. nice damage though. Mainly berserker types
main stat increase are:
-strength
-HP
-defence

-Spear (harpoons, spears)
can equip shield
good defence
average speed, average damage (slightly lower than swords)
Very average, all rounder types, though something tells me they have good piercing damage.
main stat increase are:
-defence
-weapons usage
-speed
-spirit (magic power)

-Bow
Can attack from a distance (very useful especiall against giant monsters… run into a tunnel or something like that where they cannot enter, and shoot away.)
very Fast, low damage
don’t have much combo, but have a lot of status changing shots. Sadistic players would love this
main stat increase are:
-weapons usage
-speed
-spirit

-Axes
I don’t know much about them, since i never use them.
i would suspect same as two handed swords, slow, and heavy damage.
Main stat increase are:
-HP
-strength
-defence

-Staves/ Staffs
i never use them, nor do i want to.
averge speed, low damage
they mainly boost magic
main stat increase are:
-MP
-spirit

-Black Magic (Attack Magic)
fire, ice, air (wind/lightning), earth
has both attack and defence spells for each element
Main stat increase are:
-MP
-spirit

-White Magic (Support Magic)
healing, status change, boost magic
has curing and inflicting ailment magic
has increase and decrease attack/defence magic
Main stat increase are:
-MP
-spirit

My list is not complete, since i am writing off memory, and i didn’t unlock everything.

For the healing magic, it is a bit weird, since you cannot unlock stat increase options like the other weapons…. you must learn the magic skills first, before you’re allow to increase another stat, and it really irks me, since i have to guess which skill unlocks which…. and the advance healing is only unlocked once you have learned every single ailment curing spell (including the group healing), then increase your spirit for white magic for the second time, and then advance healing is unlocked…. that would make you lose around 20~30 points…. that’s 5~7 levels devoted completely to white healing just to get advance healing…. what the hell.

Oh well, overall the game is still nice, and worth its price….. if only that made your character stand out more…. but i know, you cannot stand out, because your character is not suppose to be there! Your character is simply following…. without much reason….. really, why are you following? You follow Lenard in the beginning because it’s your job…. you start working in that store, and then the store owner gets you and Lenard to go to a nearby village to collect alcohol for the princess’s party…. you meet Yuri there, and when you get to the castle (after knocking a giant troll down), and Lenard wants to sneak into the castle, dragging Yuri and you in as well. While Yuri goes off to pig herself on the food, Lenard goes to spy on the princess (STALKER ALERT)…. and you? Well, you mysteriously disappear.

Then crazy clowns just have to crash the party with a giant cannon on the back of a freak monster who apparently love torches and candles…. While the guards are pretty much fighting a losing battle, the King is offed, Shizuna screams and gets her voice back, Lenard rescue her before she is offed as well, Eldoa appears and guides Lenard and Shizuna into a secret passage way. Meanwhile, you and Yuri are confused at the…. confusion, and somehow are rescued by captain of the guards. Lenard then stumbles into the basement of the castle, and sees the White Knight. The giant cannon monster who has a fetish for candles, storms in. Lenard decides to put on gauntlet, Shizuna enters trance, activates the Knight. Lenard is forced to battle some sort of shadow, most likely the spirit of the gauntlet, and gains control. He transforms, and then decides that dungeons are too small and cramping his style. He decides to make a skylight roof, and brings the candle fetish monster with him. Fighting the monster outside is much better, and he whoops ass, only to find that the princess is captured by a fat rolly polly man who has too much wax and not enough hair on his head, so he uses it on his stache.

A talk with the captain of the guards and the prime minister makes Lenard, Yuri and Eldoa incharge of rescuing to the princess, much to the dismay of the captain of the guards…. you…. well, you’re standing in the background, leaning against a pillar…. i guess you’re dragged in by default…. blame yourself for not voicing your objection. The captain of the guards leave shortly after, without a sense of direction and or a map, he gets lost…. multiple times…. don’t bother looking for him, he can’t be found.

So the first place you go is to the desert. Why? Because the princess is heading there. How do you know? Eldoa has a pair of coloured fluffy weird ass owls. Apparently they act as an ancient form of holographic telephones…. yeah… i know…. weird…. so a pink one stays with the princess and projects Shizuna’s image to the blue one that follows Lenard, and vice versa…. there is the dancing scene on a lake (wait, dancing ON a LAKE? They must be high….), which is very much similar to final fantasy X…. though in FF X…. Tidus and Yuna had lungs of steel and they were dancing/swimming/syncronise diving, INSIDE/UNDERWATER the glittering lake…. i think that lake is toxic. Why else would it glitter?

Oh yeah, you fight the black knight at the end of the mines to get to the desert…. it isn’t tough, and i saw no need to transform into Knight mode…. just use arial attacks if you have them, if not, hack at those legs till it goes down. Defending constantly is key.

So you reach the desert…. no one bothered to remember to pack water. You end up in the desert town, and are ambushed by Kara, who poses as a poor village woman whose sister is held hostage to force her will… well, there are lot of problems with that story, but let’s leave that for now. So you fight Kara and a bunch of towns people, whooping their ass clean, before Kara goes ‘Knight-like’ transforming…. that’s called ‘Advent’ (and they say that before transforming too, wow… like saying the name of a move while doing it. You have 変身… and you now have アドヴァント)…. that is basically selling your life energy to transform into a hideous giant beast. Like selling your soul to the devil…. so you beat Kara, and learn that Shizuna is in the ruins nearby, but to go there, you need to get through the other gate in the town, and you need the permission of the town’s lord…. who just so happened to be a giant frog who cannot keep his slimy webbed feet to himself. He’s a flirt.

Help him send a letter to his ‘girlfriend’, who just so happened to live in an oasis…. yes, his gf is a giant pink frog (don’t believe what the servants tell you about how she is ‘the most beautiful thing in the world’… yeah, lenard is an idiot for actually believing that.) So deliver the message, and after bearing witness to some typical wife bitching, you get permission to use the other door in the town, as well as using item creation. But it cost materials, and money… a complete waste of time. Unless you have nothing better to do.

Go through the door, and go to the ruins. Where Kara’s ’sister’ is… and so is Shizuna. Rolly polly bald clown demands Lenard to drop his arc. He does, but rolly polly cannot touch the arc, because it is bound to Lenard. Kara grabds Shizuna and pulls her to Lenard’s side. Then you fight some Advant soldiers…. then Kara’s ’sister’ (who has her mouth duct-taped, so she cannot refute the claim that Kara is her sister… wait, duct tape? They have duct tape?), is forced to do advant with two other soldiers, fusing into one big ass monster. Lenard has his ass whooped, and after his Knight is body slammed into a wall, a shield is revealled. Shizuna then goes into her trance mode again, and does that holy virgin mary praying, and
the shield is activated, allowing Lenard to use it. And you beat that fused up fussball. But Kara allows Shizuna to be captured again, therefore letting the group set off once more. Kara joins you as a permenant member now…. but like i said, it’s pointless to train her since she would die… well, she could come back to life in the second game, but unlikely….

So you go off to the moving city…. the valley before this is a perfect place to train…. with narrow cravices where giant monsters cannot pass, you can take a bow and shoot them before they can land a hit…. you’ll be fighting a black dragon, who isn’t very tough, but you transform anyway…. and the black knight appears… note that Kara is gone. Defeat the dragon, and the black knight kills it. Eldoa gets suspicious that Kara is not with them after the group rests…. Kara reappears later, claiming to have gone scouting. Anyway, go into the town, and learn that to continue, you need to get the giant turtle to go to the mines, but it isn’t in season (yeah, who the fuck has heard of mining seasons? What, do the rocks need time to ripen?). So you need to convince the mayor… who just so happened to be searching for a piece of artwork called ‘The Goddess of Lepana’ (ever notice how the moment you enter town, the lord of that town always just so happened to want something, just waiting for you to gain favour)…. You have to gain entry into an underground black market auction, and you need to talk to a certain somebody for that… trade the item he wants for the entry, and go in…. and what luck…. or if the entire world’s coincidences came together for this moment….. the Goddess of Lepana just so happened to be put on show in that underground auction. Don’t worry, money isn’t an option here. It is revealled that one of the Goddess’s eye is missing. And that eye is made from a gem from a fire salamander. You strike a deal with the dealer, saying that you will get a replacement for the eye, in exchange for the artpiece free of charge.

You do this quest, kill the salamander (who isn’t very big actually), and go back to the dealer, who apparently wants to double cross you, but Kara made quick work to make him see the error in that. It would problematic, after all, should minor characters take up the main spotlight. So you walk away with the Goddess. But heading to the mayor’s residence lets you discover something…. the mayor already has it?! No way! YES WAY! But you’re let in anywho…. because Ceasar said so. Yes, you meet Ceasar. He is the adopted son of the mayor, and claimed to have gotten the goddess himself…. of course, privately, he tells you that you have the real one, and that he created the fake one. When the party sees the mayor, and the fake goddess, Eldoa notes that the fake is exactly identical to the real one, except for the colour…. Ceasar apparently has the hands of a godly artisan… he even got the salamander gems. While the Mayor is happy for the real one, he is pissed at Ceasar for tricking again (again? Ceasar is apparently a naughty child… bad boy)… but he complies with your request. Oh, and note, the mayor is deathly ill. He is nearly at death’s door. Probably rining the doorbell by now.

you leave the residence, and Ceasar tags along as a permenant member. Take this moment to train him. Train him like you mean it (Or that you have nothing better to do in your spare time…. his dreadlocks need to be styled). The mines is a good place to train. I won’t tell you what to do exactly, but just check every place…. the best training regime i have, is follow the tracks up the slope, fight the black giant, follow through the back, till you fight the Earth dragon, go across the bridge, down the stairs, down the elevator, fight the fire dragon, then go through the tunnel filled with Wizard (that is the name of the enemy organization, in case you didn’t realize it by now) soldiers, and fight the black giant…. back track, go up the elevator, and repeat the cycle. The small frys you fight along the way, plus the four giants in total should give you a good boost. Train till Ceasar is at least 25, if not, buy loads of health potions and make Ceasar hold them. Make sure that your party can withstand a long fight, because you’re going to take on 4 boss fights in a row. And rolly polly is among two of them. He can cast silence on your party, so make sure you have revival and healing stuff. When you fight the boss, first is rolly polly with a couple of soldiers. Easy, and make sure that no one is silenced…. silenced party members do NOT use items automatically (if you place healing commands in their command bar, then they would automatically use them…. same with arial attacks… they would automatically use arial attacks on a giant monster if it is in one of the three command bars)

Defeat rolly polly, and then you fight two Advant monsters. I don’t know if it’s a glitch, but while fighting one of the two monsters, my party’s MP kept draining…. it could be that one of the monsters can drain MP, but it may just be a glitch…. nah, i think they can actually drain MP… so watch it. Next up, is a pink dragon…. If you saved Lenard’s AP, now is a good time to use it. Transform into a Knight and whoop ass. The dragon can withstand a lot of damage, unlike those weak advant monsters, so it is best to save the transformation for this dragon battle. After the dragon, rolly polly does advant himself, and the dragon goes down…. it transforms into an arc, and gives itself to Ceasar. Shizuna goes trance again, and
unlocks the dragon knight. Here, Ceasar is on his own, so heal yourself if need be, but at level 25 or higher, Ceasar’s health is good enough to withstand the entire fight. Rolly polly is irritating…. don’t aim for it’s head, but for its stomach, that deals the most damage.

After the fight, rolly polly dies, killed by one eye green goblin… i hate your guts goblin…. and shizuna is gone again. You go back into the turtle town, and find out that the mayor is dead. He left a note for Ceasar telling him that if he wanted to know his past, go back to the starting town and find a certain dude…. wait, no will? Well, the mayor wanted to thank Ceasar in the end for being his son… blah blah romantic stuff… whatever. So you go back to the starting town and search for clues…. this is tricky, since the map won’t give you hints…. best way? Start from the store which you start off from, turn right from its exit, up the stairs, and the first pair of young guys who are talking to each other. Talk to them, and they’ll tell you to find the building with the blue roof (apparently, someone likes to stand out so much that he would even paint his roof a different colour from everyone else). Walk down the road, and CG time…. then the map leads you away. There, you’ll find that the house is empty…. and that the man you’re looking for is dead. What a surprise…. but he has a son. Omg, yes a son….how cliche….. wait, why not a daughter?

So you ditch the gossiping woman who has to do laundry but decides to gossip with you anyway, and head out…. note that the field has an upgrade of monsters…. though they look the same, they are stronger. And this time, the ‘Troll King’ appears as a random monster… you can get a good material drop from him if you’re looking for item creation. So follow the map…. if you did the first side mission, this place should be familiar. So enter, and you’ll find a emo looking dude being chased by trolls…. three of them. What, does this guy emit some female troll pheromone or something? Sheesh, talk about popular with the wrong crowd. So save him…. yeah, both Lenard and Ceasar go transform…. this would be the first ’semi-boss’ fight where both Knights are on the field at the same time…. but the Black Knights is in as well…. and it’s helping you. Note Kara disappears again. I think it should be obvious…. but Eldoa now seems to confirm it. So you rescue the dude who is the guy you’re looking for… And he brings you back to his place to explain things…. He then tells you that he’s been under watch by someone for a long time, and tells you to meet him at night at of the town’s exit. You can go shop or do whatever you want before going there. Once there, be ready for a bbq… bring marshmellows…. and meat.

The dude’s place is on fire…. wow, what a surprise…. so you chase an owl…. this one is grey…. it’s not yours…. it’s oni-san…. yes, oni-san…. he tells you where to go next. And apparently, Shizuna was the one who arranged the place. Why? Because this place holds a sword that can kill Knights…. ooo…. yes…. apparently, there is a dude during the great war, who fought single handly against the Knights…. that dude must be tall…. and he decided to stay in a valley…. that became known as bug valley… or something like that. Bug named…. why? Because it has bugs…. no kidding…. pack your bug sprays, because it isn’t a joy ride.

One thing to note in bug valley…. there are lots of irritating enemies. Spiders, scorpians, spitting flowers, flies, giant weird rock lizards, trolls, and treants. Spiders can shoot a web at you, slowing your speed and evasion. Scorpians can poison or paralyze, spitting flowers can paralyze you in two ways, one with powder, the other is trapping by sinking its roots into the ground and grabbing you… the only way to get rid of this, is either get another team member to attack the plant, or wait. Apparently getting attacked also works, and the plant is still stuck trying to get something. Take that opportunity to whack it. rock lizards are considered huge enemies, though they are relatively small compared to other huge ass monsters…. but they are tough, and can deal 100 damage if not careful. They can also poison.

Ceasar finds out that Kara is the black knight, and though Kara threatens to kill him, she doesn’t…. yeah, unknowingly, they actually like each other, or more like Kara is rather reluctant to admit it. So you go on, rescue a…. rabbit? Erm…. what the hell is that? Well, you’ve seen that species around before…. but still…. what the hell is that? So you save it…. with overkill knights….. but that lizard has taken a liking to Ceasar, and decides to have him to go…. too bad Kara has dips on him, and swoops in as the black knight and rescues him….. yeah…. nothing says more romantic that bird woman saving pink dragon man….

So you continue on…. ending up kidnapped by masked rabbits…. they watch too much movies…. and decide to roast you…. or blow you up…. in the middle of their town. Hmm, they must really hate their own architecture…. Oh yeah…. interesting matches to who is tied with who…. Lenard with Yuri, Ceasar with Kara (oho?), you with Eldoa…. you with the oldest dude of the group…. or …. not. Ah, so as the rabbits test their mulfunctioning bomb on you, you are rescued by…. the ignored rabbit you rescued arrives…. so anyway, you’re welcomed by the midgets…. and you can get some nice items here… You also learn of the legend of the one eyed dude who can tackle Knights. And dragons apparently. Here is a CG with just you and Lenard…. don’t be so full of yourself, you still say nothing.

The next map is when you can get to use flower-copters! Yay! I always wanted to fly by grabbing onto a giant dandelion for dear life! Look at your map, and you’ll see arrows which point in which direction do the flowers go. If there are two directions, by activating the flowers, the game would tell you whether the wind direction is ‘up’ or ‘down’ (上 or 下 respectively). Just look at the map and orientate yourself that way. Up is the direction that is ‘above’ on the map. Down is the route ‘below’.

You continue on, and you reach the end…. where Lenard and Ceasar and forced to trade their arcs with Shizuna…. but after it all seems fine, something is wrong, and just in time, as Shizuna is actually… a FAKE!!! OMG SO CLICHE!!! And apparently Shizuna has many look a likes…. So the fake goes advant, and Kara shows her true colours. It’s now a two on two battle. If you trained right, this should be easy. And then, the real shizuna decides to follow her monk ways and starts praying, revealling the holy sword…. but it can’t be touched! Why?! Then Lenard get’s it! Let’s make the statue blind! And poof, a sword…. what the hell… So you get the sword, and deal with the enemy…. Kara gets away with oni-san…. with Ceasar pleading her not to go, but she replies that she has no where to go, and so remains by oni-san’s side….. what a…. bore….

You try to escape the crumbling ruins, because your battle attracted the grand daddy of rock worm/lizard, and your rabbit friends come to help you, but apparently you ate too much. You’re heavy. You go DOWN. And guess where? On top of the giant rock lizard. But this isn’t the end. No, the rock lizard has a very nice surprise…. it has a map on it…. i mean, it is like another dungeon… a short one. There isn’t anything here, just hurry along, and make sure to equip your healers, making sure that their best healing spells are in their command bars…. the next fight is going to be irritating.

You face off against…. a…. erm…. what is that? Let’s just say it’s the brain…. note that there are multiple tentacles sticking out…. you might want to take them down. They are weak, but will cause two things…. one, if you get too close, they will make you fall. Two, they can mess up your targeting, unless you’re good at changing targets. The main goal is the large centre brain flower, the tentacles can and will regenerate. They also distract your team members. If you can balance the attacks from tentacle to the main body, you can win. It is easy to tell when it would send it’s strongest attack, so defend when necessary.

Win the battle, and you’ll go back to the rabbit village, and find…. hey! The dude who supposedly burned is alive! But ceasar apparently finds his shoe interesting. I do too…. Take note…. the shoes….

The dude then leads you towards the village where it all began, Shinka village. The next map has a lot of enemies, so be prepared. But this place is ideal for meterial hunting, and exotic monster hunting. It is also by far the largest of all maps. There is an interesting version of the cerberus monster here (you know, the three faced dog… it isn’t three headed, because it only has one head, but three faces). This version has two snake like heads sticking out from its torso…. and if those heads are there, it can use a fearsome area fire attack. Use a bow to shoot those heads off, and by then, half of it’s life should be gone. It is the easiest giant enemy in this map. The candle fetish is here as well, and he isn’t easy to beat. The candle fetish is hard to defeat using normal a normal party, and Knights would find a battle against him to be long and tiring. The third giant monster in this map, the wind dragon. That is tough, as with all dragon type of monsters. But it isn’t invincible, so it just makes battling it long and tiring. Next we have the ice dragon, and finally one ice giant…. the ice giant is easy to deal with. When you see it after opening a door, stay by the door and wait till it sees you anc chases you. Run back and let the door close. The monster can’t chase you, and you can shoot arrows like no tomorrow.

This map also has an abundant number of small creatures…. on the surface, we have jackals, scorpians and the occasional basilisks…. underground, we have wind elements, basilisks and spiders. Basilisks can drop a rare material that is basically like a feather…. it drops it about 40% of the time, so keep killing till you’re satisfied. That material is mainly used for upgrading cloth type armour, creating mantles, or cloth type armour. It is rare though.

This map is both a mix of above and below ground, and you need to have good memorizing skills, with the addition of analytical skills to make your way around. But it’s easy once you’ve reached the centre of the underground map, and unlocked all of the doors. Note, train Eldoa specifically before you reach Shinka village. If he is important to your party, then all the more.

Eldoa in my party is my primary healer, and so it was important that he was good enough. Why was the old dude my healer? Well, he has naturally high MP, and magic attack/defence. So he makes a good healer/support. Second is Yuri, since she doesn’t have access to the heavy weaponary. She uses spear, and is my back-up healer. My main character, plus the two Knights are my heavy hitters. They dish out over 100 dmg, so makes sense.

Anyway, you reach Shinka village, and the dude reveals that Eldoa is actually from the era of the great war, and when faced by the others, Eldoa disappears. Like i said, if he is important to you, you had better trained him. You won’t be getting him back for some time. So you get told about the great war, about the five children and how the Knights work.

You continue on, trying to beat oni-san to his own Knight, which is the Sun God Knight. The next place is long, and just plain irritating. I know i say that most maps are irritating, but wait till you reach the ending part. Anyway, continue on, and then you’ll stop and camp…. then you’ll be ambushed…. only that it’s not really an ambush, because your group was expecting it. Yes. You’re entire party had suspected the dude… i think his name is Seti…. finally remembered his name. And he is revealled to be…. ONI-SAN!!! OMG!!! And the clue that tipped the party off? His shoes…. i told you those shoes were something. And Eldoa comes back, saying that his absence was a good rest…. lucky SOB.

But your victory is short lived as you are dropped down into a hole, and forced to fight…. oh, a candle feitsh monster’s brother, who has a fetish for crystals…. this guy is easy, so just beat his ass down, and continue on.
The next map is clear cut, so just continue on…. notice the increase number of golems…. golems are the toughest type of two legged giant monster, especially the ones in here, since they have no element, compared with other golems who have elements for you to exploit. Go through the ruins, and there would be a cut scene, and Eldoa explains his role, and Shizuna’s true nature. No, she isn’t a monster.

The next part of the map, is the temple, and is the beginning of the irritating crap. Begin by going to the door on the left, and teleport. You have to go through the different teleports, killing off all golems and giant monsters that you come across to unlock some of the locked teleports. When you unlock most of them, and end up in a giant rectangle hall, defeat the last golem, and head straight down the hall…. if this golem isn’t the last one, take the other teleport and just keep on finding golems till they are all replaced by giant black monsters. If you can access that teleport in that giant hall, you’ll end up in the beginning place, but on the North end, a place you couldn’t reach till now. Defeat the golems there, and jump down. The other teleport is now accessible. Going through you can see two additional teleports on the map. The one further from you is the final stage, the other will bring you back to the beginning.

You might want to prepare before the final fight. It’s another four boss in a row, and this one isn’t that simple….. You cannot change members in the middle of the fight, so the best way is to get both Lenard and Ceasar into the party, and make sure they keep their AP full. When the fight begins, you will fight against the Sun God from the get go, but Shizuna has sealed its power, so it would be easy. Of course, Oni-san is pissed, and stabs Shizuna. He then runs away, ordering Kara to finish the party off. While Kara transforms, Lenard grabs Shizuna and lets Eldoa heal her. Now you face the black Knight. It has strong long range attacks, and unlike it’s previous fights, it isn’t afraid to use them. You may have to depend on your other party members to heal and attack while you are sent flying across the field.

Once you defeat Kara, Ceasar manages to convince her to join them once more, and when Kara agrees, the green goblin stabs Kara from the back. Kara tries to transform, but that fugly dude grabs her from behind, and draws the sword. So it’s a fused transformation. The result? A fugly black knight. Really, i have no other descriptions for it. I really liked the black knight till i saw this…. and really, it’s simply fugly….

Right, now this is where the battle will be hard. Even at level 39, my characters has to endure about 100 dmg with the best armour available on. And that isn’t nice…. so get Lenard and Ceasar to transform during this fight, and let them absorb the damage and dish out the pain. The last character should focus on making sure the two Knights have good health and mana left. After this, the mutated black knight is forced to lower itself down closer to your level. Now is damage dishing time. If you’re party attacks relentlessly, this form should prove useless. Relentless attacks would prevent it from attacking you at all. It would shine once in a while, but that practically does nothing to you. Just hack away.

Once you’ve defeated it, it would revert back…. but Kara falls to the ground, and the green goblin has the black knight’s arc. He disappears with it. Ceasar runs to Kara, and the two share a touching moment, before the ruins come crumbling down…. again…. why so cliche?! Shizuna is healed, and she tells them to hurry to the open. There, a giant plane…. i guess it’s a plane…. with flapping wings…. appear, and they rush inside…. but Kara is dead, and her body is left in the crumbling ruins…. chances of her returning? Well, better than if she were brought with them…. if her body is never disclosed, then who knows what may happen?

But as Lenard makes his way to the ship, he collapses, due to the fatigue of using the Knight to much. Shizuna suppports him onto the ship, and Yuri is feeling depressed and jealous. The plane manages to escape, and they all return to the starting town. There, Shizuna takes control of her kingdom once more, and everyone goes back to their lives…. well, not really. Lenard gets a scolding from the store owner, who probably wondered where the hell Lenard went (though if you talked to him before this CG, he would say something ‘going to rescue the princess? Then what are you waiting here for?’). Yuri is with Lenard, and your character simply smiles at Lenard being scolded…. sadistic you. Ceasar and Eldoa share a drink at the bar in the town, and seems good. Then you see oni-san on an island, ressurecting an army….. he claims that he cannot use his Knight due to Shizuna, and his army is mainly following him out of fear. Also, Shizuna’s minister is helping him, so we know this isn’t over. Ah….. the captain of the guards is still lost.

And that’s the end of the single player storyline for this game! While nice, it is rather short…. well, the huge expanse of the game world, and the online feature is yet to be explored….. i am still not done with this game. Time to see how far i can go.

Oh yes…. in your clear data, there is a guy in Shinka village, who can transfer data…. i think it means transferring the data from this game into the sequel when it is released.

Well, that’s all from me about this game…. i’ll write more if i can get more.

I was wondering if i could use this story in my fics…. or write a fic on this…. i think i’ll do both.

What’s up with those endings? Foul language and spoilers

I recently finished playing Fable 2 and Fallout 3. Somehow or rather, with all of the hype, i really expected more, but i shouldn’t really be like this. I’m rather satisfied with how things ended. Not really…. there should be more….

First, Fable 2. I pre-ordered a limited edition, and when it came, i was jumping for joy, but something felt amiss, and only after playing it did i realize it. I was missing the limited edition stuff! There was meant to be a special code for limited edition players, allowing them to use Halo armour, and energy sword plus an additional dungeon. Okay, so the Halo stuff is crap, and not really looking like the real master chief armour and sword, but REMEMBER!!! it is meant to be a parody! From what i heard, the sword and armour was meant to be upgraded into something SUPER at the end of the extra dungeon, though this news is rather unreliable at the moment till i get my code.

Yes, because i lack the code, i had to go to xbox.com and click and click and click till i finally reached the page where i could get microsoft to send me my code… and what do you know, they say they would send it to me within 10 business days?!?!?!?! WTF?! I’ve waited so fucking for this game and now you say wait another 10 more days?! UP URS! I hate dealing with microsoft…. their OS are easy to understand, use and manipulate, but when it comes down to technical support and ACTUALLY DOING STUFF, it sucks…. Get a Mac? HA! AS IF! The only reason why i don’t use mac is because GAMES are STILL MAINLY ON MICROSOFT!!! I’ve seen how ‘reliable’ macs are… yeah right, every single mac that a friend or family member of mine owns has known to crash, be irritable, naggy, and down-right stubborn. Apple is worse than microsoft in terms of getting the computer to DO THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO!!! So i’m sticking to Windows…. yeah, my japanese games ONLY work on Windows…. so there.

Anyway, i finished fable 2, and what do you know, we get three choices… CHOICES!!! IT IS THE WHOLE BLOODY POINT OF THE GAMES I’VE BEEN BUYING!! Too many choices, but not as bad a Fallout 3…. that game is just MEANT to tempt you EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CORNER!!!

I don’t understand why some people find Fable 2 to be a let down…. sure, we all expected more, but in my honest opinion, i think it is a stroke of genius….. maybe those guys who complain just hate Lionhead studios or something. I think the story is just poetic and romantic…. really plays alot with my feelings, and i actually like that. I felt really drawn into the game, and i down right loved the story. Of course, it would be better if we didn’t feel so guilty about doing every single bad thing. And the part of getting taller and more well-built, and having those weird blue lines on you (called ‘will scars’) just really gets to me… well, not for the male character. I played both male and female, though i have yet to go down the path of down right evilness and vile shit. I’m a righteous person by heart and i REALLY REALLY REALLY find it hard to do bad…. call it my upbringing. Anyway, when i played the female character, (and i had LOTS of fun playing the female character… oooh, you guys who stubbornly choose to ONLY play the male, you don’t know what you’re missing out. It may not be different game play wise, but it sure is fun.), i built up my character to be the ultimate fighter. And i mean ultimate. Strength and skill and will all pumped up to maximum, and since i was a ‘good’ person, with halo flying over my head, i had swarms of people running to me, asking me for autographs and wanting to f up my character. BUT!!! If you notice, female characters who are tall, muscular and have blue tattoos that make them look tribal, aren’t exactly popular in reality…. sure, they may make it onto the ‘extremist’ magazine covers…. but still…. well, it’s a game anyway.

A few bugs to work out though, had to restart the game a couple of times, and though they are exactly ‘end of the world’, they were irritating. For one, after i want to lock-out of targeting a civilian, their damn name and bar still appears on the top. I know i’m not locked on to anyway, so when i try to shoot a gargolye, the dumb civillian’s stats pops up instead of me getting a good aim! Oh, the best bug i’ve seen so far is when i jumped off a ledge, and when i landed, my character was frozen in permenant free fall animation. I could still move, but i loooked like a some sort of magician, or like Jesus crucified on the cross and hovering around…. yeah, i looked like that in the game. It didn’t stop till i restarted the game. Another bug is Garth’s tower. Moved in with my new wife since she loves brightwood, but adjusting her budget was a bug…. once set, i couldn’t change it, and so she would eat my money away every single day…. she was happy with just less than 100 gold, but i was stupid, didn’t read, and gave her 1000…. so i lose 2000 a day, don’t know why it doubles, but it does. Maybe another bug…. their math problem needs work. And getting corrupt but not evil is just too tiring and troublesome…. sleep for 7 days, another 7 days, another 7 days…. heck! It took me the entire day in real time to get my corruption from maximum pure, to just middle of corrupt!

So, i love Fable 2, and love the dog…. though sometimes, i have to wonder, aren’t there ANY better looking NPCs than the whores?! I mean, come on! I know it is suppose to be middle ages time, but there HAS to be someone better! Lady Grey? She’s dead! Call me fickle or what not, but i have my standards! Even IF it is in a game! Started on ideas for my own Fable fic. Though i have compiled a list of funny stuff i got from Fable 2, i should be posting them soon, right after my midterms though.

The dog really needs to learn to stay AWAY from danger and let ME do the fighting…. sheesh, i have to heal the dog almost everytime.

Another note on Fable 2 and their play on emotions. Since i am a storywriter, i tend to do stuff in game that would…. emulate a story…. Lucien was really a tragic enemy, though i initially wanted to blunderbuss him point-blank in the face, though i paused…. and that damn ass of a thief had to take the glory. I WANTED TO SAVOUR THE FUCKING MOMENT YOU FUCKED UP FUCKING FUCKER!!!!

Bah, so chose being all goody-two-shoes, and chose sacrifice…. wrong choice… what the fuck to i get? A fucked up statue, that’s what. FUCK THAT! I’ve got LOADS of other statues around the fucking place! You know, i think that part was the trick choice by the producers…. if you really believe that other people’s needs are before your own… THEN YOU’RE A FUCKING MORON!!! There aren’t ANYBODY who is THAT selfless! What the fuck! I went through hell, lost EVERY FUCKING SINGLE THING THAT I HELD DEAR TO ME, YET STILL CHOSE TO SAVE THOSE UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BASTARDS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME!!! AND WHAT THE FUCK DO I FUCKING GET?! A FUCKED UP STATUE AND A ‘THANK YOU’ NOTE?! FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU! I guess they are trying to say that even though you would save everyone, and lose everything you have in the process yet still able to be pure and selfless, then the reward you would get is simple gratitude. There is no greater reward than gratitude for those who choose such a path….. yeah well, not everyone can run a true and pure charity. Everything and everyone has a goal to themselves. Just because they aren’t benefitting themselves in the physical sense, does not mean they aren’t benefitting from it at all. Emotionally, mentally, yeah, they do that only to make themselves feel good. Whatever. My next character is going to choose the REAL ENDING… like… GETTING MY DOG AND FAMILY BACK!!! FUCK THE REST OF THE WORLD! I gave you everything, and did so much, helped so much, yet you people are ignorant, ungrateful, unfaithful, untrustworthy and just damn dumb. This time, i’m taking what’s mine, what i worked so hard to get. And NO ONE CAN SAY OTHER WISE…… dammit, got all riled up just from a game… see? They really play with your emotions.

Next is Fallout 3…. ah yes, another weird and queer game. Bathesda studios….. you know, i really love your works. The openness of Oblivion, and now Fallout 3. The controls were simply genius and classic. Sure, the older Fallout games were nice, but this one really takes the cake. The one thing from the previous fallouts that really irked me, was the fact that once i ran out of AP, that’s it, i’m dead. But now? No. With a minigun in hand, i can say ‘FUCK YOU AP’. Of course, the AP system is still handy. I can make snipe shots with that unstable hand of mine. I can do hard-core damage dealing to one enemy, using the VATS and once i run out of AP and the enemy is still alive, use real time to finish them off. Of course, the VATS does have its weakness. For example fighting multiple enemies. Once you’ve used your AP to finish off one guy, the screen doesn’t automatically go back to real time. It goes into SLOW MO as your enemy dies, or explodes if you got the bloody mess perk, which is pure genius by the way…. the original makers of fallout were pure geniuses for that. It also made searching for the body to loot much easier actually. Just find a body part, and you can loot the entire body. Anyway, while you’re going in slow-mo, the other enemies would have run up to you and gave you some damage before you can control your PC once more.

Well, watching your enemies die slowly and watching your bullet fly in slow mo is fun, so i won’t say much. But you know, Bathesda studio, your games have a strange tendecy for the oldest and most IRRITATING bug of all games…. the hang. Oh no, it isn’t just fallout 3, oblivion had its fair share of hangs…. though Fallout 3 has to take the cake. It is acting like my mother! It would hang and i would lose all data by the time i’ve played a certain amount of hours. Okay, so i’ve played long hours, but oblivion didn’t hang when i went through a 14 hr crunch time. Fallout 3? Ten hours. And that is the longest i’ve played before it went stall on me.

Oh yeah, weapons maintainence is a chore….. i had to keep finding weapons to repair my stuff with, which isn’t really that hard, unless you’re using really, REALLY exotic shit, that have REAL FIRE POWER, then you’re in deeper shit than anything else. Yeah, i’m talking about the BIG GUNS. Minigun, missle launcher, fatman, galting laser, and of the small guns, the sniper rifle. These weapons are so RARE that each time i find one, i would want to bring it home, store it and make sure it doesn’t run out. Armour is another thing….. i love the merc stuff, merc adventurer, merc charmer, merc cruiser, merc troublemaker, merc veteran. These clothes can be used to repair each other. The very first place i encountered them however, was in the capital, so before that i was wearing shit crap. Okay, so i was wearing proper armour, but like i said the merc clothes can be used to repair each other, so it is THE ideal clothing. Next would be raider armours, since raiders are almost everywhere. So yeah, repairing is a bitch, unless you have the caps to go to a shop. In most cases, NO, you don’t have enough caps.

Which brings me to the next point. Caps. Caps are the main source income, besides trading. But a lot of times i find myself strap for cash or items needed to get DESPERATELY needed ammunition and stimpacks. Look, i’m dying, dry on ammo, and strap for cash. What the hell am i suppose to do?! That is why i consort to using melee weapons and pistols to kill irritating raiders and mercs who get in my way. And then i loot their bodies, sell off their weapons that i don’t like and armour. Note, that i don’t really like the shotguns and laser weapons. I like the 10mm pistol (i used the same one that Amata would give you throughout the entire game, i just love that gun, it is my life saver many times), hunting rifle, Chinese assault rifle, sniper rifle, and the minigun. So i have five guns with me at all times. For melee, i have a ripper and a chinese sword. I have no idea why they chose China as an enemy, but i don’t really care. Sure, i may be chinese, but i’m from Singapore, not China. But one thing i love about the chinese assault rifle, it packs more firepower than your normal assault rifle. It may be different for some other people, but from what i got, my chinese assault rifle kills super mutants with one clip. Does yours? Of course, i found it really dumb the first time i saw the super mutants. Sure, they were already damaged from their fight with two brotherhood of steel paladins, but still, to go down in one shot from my pistol? PLEASE…. Well, it’s all about stats, anyway. I love that 10mm pistol….

So Fallout 3 also has a dog… dogmeat. BUT!!! The thing is i didn’t meet dogmeat immediately…. i played HALFWAY of the game before i stumbled across a disposal yard (I’m not kidding, i was already halfway done). My char was more of a scout/sniper…. who has really big firepower (my minigun ammo count was NEVER below 2000), so i wanted to snipe them from the building i was on top of, but then my perception was high enough to notice a friendly killing off the enemy. So being curious, though i was more stupid than anything, found dogmeat. He wasn’t as cute as Fable 2’s dog, but he sure was nice to have around. I love dogs, and dogmeat reminded me strongly of my own german shepard who died quite some time ago. So i immediately took a liking to dogmeat. The problem with dogmeat? HE DIES TOO EASILY. Sure, he’s a dog, and this isn’t fable 2, but STILL! I wasted half of my stimpack supply on the damn mutt and he still runs off and dies without me knowing where he went! And he tends to take the long routes, while i, being an oblivion veteran and overall monkey, tend to jump over rocks and obstacles. Note, that enemies also tend to take the long routes, so it is useful in battle. HOWEVER, the dog wouldn’t even go past a fence the same way i went! Through a gap! Bah, i spent more time telling dogmeat to stay put etc. and stuff than anything else. In the end, he died and i gave up. HOWEVER! I did get new choices later on as to who could follow me. Either the righteous paladin from the brotherhood of steel who escorted my pc’s dad across the wasteland years before, or a giant super mutant who actually has proper speech patterns and actually has a brain and manners not to shoot anything and everything that moves. Fwakes is his name, and he packs a giant gatling laser. And trust me, with him around, you never need to worry about your ammunition levels or your back. This guy is amazing. I only did one thing while in the slaver camp of paradise falls, snipe the guy with the minigun (took out his head, and his body exploded from the bloody mess perk, man! Gotta love that perk), and the entire slaver camp became my enemy. Then let my mutant buddy do the rest. Yup, that guy not only packs a punch with his handy gatling laser, and he can take alot of hits…. and i mean a lot. Since i’m a scout type character, it’s good to know he has my back. And he won’t charge out blindly, unlike dogmeat. Of course, he also tells you whether a place is dangerous or not, just like how dogmeat growls when he senses danger. Fwakes would warn you in the most obvious statements, though it is useful… sometimes. And no one seems to care about the giant super mutant with the giant weapon whenever i talk to them. Even Fwakes notes that once, much to my surprise and laughter.

Ah yes, laughter…. i really love that large robot the brother of steel uses. I gotta tape what it says down, it is so funny! I love that big metal can! I mean, i’ve never heard of such obvious propaganda in my life before! And what it says is just too funny to ignore.

And yeah, what is up with that super computer wanting to be president? I didn’t believe i could do it, but i managed to out-talk/out-wit a computer….. It went into shut down shortly after…. cool. But the whole base had to explode on me…. how typical. You know, those power armour belonging to the brotherhood of steel and the enclave…. they all look like mixes of stormtrooper and some other game…. killzone, i think. Not only that, they also look like jet-pack soldiers, with those cylinders on their back. Yeah, ready to blow sir!

Another thing about the dog….. after dogmeat died, and i went to little lamplight…. you know, the city with all kids, dumb brats….. they had dogs! I mean i saw at least five dogs! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? ARE YOU MOCKING ME OR SOMETHING?!?!?! FUCK YOU! I WANT MY DOG BACK!!!

Now, for the ending…. like i said, i fancy myself to be poetic and romantic, or whatever…. so i chose to jump into the chamber of lethal radiation to save the world. The first time i did it, however, i was clueless on what the FUCK was i suppose to do. I ran around the place, looking at all of the instruments, and finally realized the bunch of numbers on the first console…. well, they weren’t exactly blaring. And since i remembered the freaking story when i played it, i remembered the keyword to get it started. Revelations 21:6, “I am Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End.” I can’t remember the rest, and i’m not religious, but that line was rather significant to me. Why? Because Chrono Crusade the anime had it. And because it sounds cool.

Anyway, So i got it started, and i look straight into the tank…. only to see a giant statue of…. who? Sorry, but i’m not american, nor do i take particular interest in american culture and history…. But i would think it would be a guy called…. Jefferson? Who? Mainly because the place is named after him. So anyway, my pc dies…. WTF?! EXACTLY! SHE DIES!!! (yes, i used another female character…. trust me, it’s fun to play the opposite sex, and i’ve played too many games where it is a male main character, so i think women with weapons are awesome) I WAS LIKE…. WTF?! NO CONTINUE?! And i just managed to get that bastard of a colonel’s suit…. dammit! Yeah, i was wondering about that colonel guy…. is he a clone? How did he managed to survive that chamber of deadly radiation? Wasn’t my char’s dad also in that chamber? Would daddy dear be still alive? And yeah, when daddy dear died, i was pissed to hell…. i spent three days in real time finding him, only to have him offed by radiation?! Hell no! I ain’t settling for this crap! But i continued, and at the end, facing off with the colonel, i glady took my minigun, VATS headshot him at near point-blank range…. and once more, thank you for bloody mess perk.

So anyway, at the end, i decided to be goody-two shoes once more and sacrifice myself, jumping into the chamber of inevitable doom! It was right for a storyline, after all, but i remembered something…. DON’T I HAVE FWAKES WITH ME?! He’s already a super mutant! Radiation doesn’t hurt him! He could fucking stroll in that fucking chamber and everything would be fine and dandy! BUT NOOOOO, I HAD TO GO HERO AND GO IN!!! But then again, there wasn’t an option for Fwakes to go in…. either me, or the Sentinel Lyons…. bitch, she should go in. But like i said, it isn’t right for the storyline….. STILL! YOU COULD HAVE THE DECENCY TO TRY TO DRAG ME OUT! Bah….. this is getting dumb. Right for the storyline….. dumb and wrong for the character….. sigh, oh well. By the looks of this ending, there wouldn’t be a sequel…. wait, there isn’t?!

So yeah, that’s my take on these two new games…. wish there were more for each, though…. Especially fallout 3, like somehow or rather, your character survives, and recuperates in the Citadel, being herald as the hero of the capital wastelands…. extra missions, like hunting down the remaining enclave members, storming every single one of their bases with the brotherhood of steel, bringing an end to the super mutant problem, also with the brotherhood of steel. Then there would also be an all-out war between the brotherhood of steel from the citadel, and the ‘outcasts’, that would be cool. Then as the fighting begins to reach its peak, more problems come in, like enclave reinforcements from elsewhere force the outcasts and the citadel to join forces. Or the brotherhood central decided to ‘replace’ their forces in the capital, and since they do not recognize the outcasts as well, the outcasts and the citadel join forces to combat their former comrades.  Then Arroyo, and the new republic of…. what’s that place? Bah, all of the free states and factions are forced to band together against the Enclave, who have prepared a giant army! Then we get ‘the chosen one’ from fallout 2, and our hero the so-called ‘lone wonderer’ or ‘vault kid’, would gather their forces together to combat the enclave! SEE? THERE CAN BE AN AFTER STORY! NO NEED TO FUCKING KILL OF THE MAIN CHARACTER AT THE END!!!!

But i could always make a fic…. yeah, let’s do that.

So like i said at the beginning, this game is just plain evil…. IT IS SO FUCKING EASY TO LOSE KARMA!!! You can just steal almost everything that is lying around, draw your gun and fucking headshot practically ANYONE…. they really tempt you at EVERY FUCKING SINGLE CORNER, and i KNOW i said it before, but i’ll say it again and again, no matter how many times… because IT IS SO TRUE. THIS EVIL GAME WILL FUCKING TEMPT YOU AT EVERY FUCKING TURN!!! It is much harder to stay good than to stray over to the bad side…. so those of you who wish to play hard? Stick to the good side. It’s fucking hard to stay good with all of that nice shit lying around to steal, nice places to lockpick and steal more shit. Even nicer to headshot everyone and loot their shit. That way, you won’t have to deal with buying and selling, just fucking kill everyone.

I like some of their music…. which surprises me to no end…. i actually like old sounding crap.

Another damn irritating thing about this game…. THE MAP IS JUST TOO FUCKING HUGE!!!! You can’t really expect us to walk around the entire map?! At least let us repair motorbikes! Let us RIDE THEM! I SEE THEM ALMOST EVERYWHERE!!! COME ON! This map has got to be as big as, if not bigger, than the oblivion map! and in oblivion, we get HORSES!!! WHAT THE FUCK DO WE GET IN FALLOUT 3?! FUCK NOTHING BUT OUR TWO FUCKING LEGS!!! FUCK THOSE! Fwakes! Let me ride on top of you. Oh yeah, that mutant can run…. no joke. He actually ran faster when trying to catch up with me that i thought he was on sugar bombs.

Oh yeah, another bug from Fallout 3…. when i had that brotherhood paladin tag along, whenever i turned to face her, the entire screen would go whack…. it looked as though i was watching some avant-garde painting….

Sigh…. well, now to start drawing up plot lines for my own fic…. great, two more fics to add to my lists of stories to finish writing…. great, just great….

Dragons and Horses are equally stupid when you ride them

So i came back from a very long holiday, well, maybe not so long. 2 weeks. Ah, so i went over to EB and bought what i missed out. Three games. Lair, Two Worlds, and Medal of Honor: Airbourne. Well, i spent a lot of money, and i think i wasted them.

I tested Lair out first. What i found out, was that it was virtually impossible to switch movement from moving the controller about, to analog control, which in my opinion allows for more precision movement and control. Sure, it was fun waving my ps3 controller like a caveman waving his club, but it was tiring. Is their strategy? To tire me out? Get real. And i got stuck on one mission, because those stupid NPCs keep stopping my attacks (friendlies, mind you, not my enemies who irritate me), with their constant “Help me!” or “Our men are dying!”, well F you. Keep disturbing me. Tell me to torch the enemy navy, and while i just started to do so, in come the enemy ‘warbeasts’, and they tell me to deal with those, and when i turn my attention to those hunkering creatures, in come ‘rhinos’, and so each time i try to switch my attack, in comes a new enemy. I can’t keep up! and that map is so freaking huge! What’s more, getting my stupid dragon to turn around is hard. I shake the controller upwards to make it do a 180, it does a left bank. Dumb shit.

So i got pissed, and switched to Airbourne. Okay, not so bad, at least i can see a life bar instead of guessing how much life i’ve got, like call of duty. But i died in the first mission, because my machine gun wouldn’t hit the enemy even at point blank range, and the pistol does close to zero damage. Hiding behind a sandbag is just like trying to take cover from a nuclear bomb behind an egg.

Last game, Two worlds. I thought it was like Oblivion. But no. Oblivion is at least a hundred times better. This dumb game, does not allow much customization as they advertized. Controls stick quite often, and the horses, well, like the title of this post, dumb. It wouldn’t know the difference between left and right. Tell it to go right while riding at a certain speed, and it turns left. What’s worse? Half way through the BEGINNING mission, the entire screen went haywire. That’s right, with static and what-not. Hey, i didn’t buy a second hand game. It was brand new, with the security device still fucking inside. It made everyone turn and look at me when i tried to go through the security at the Bay. Dumb place.

Anyway, so classes have started, and i like my profs. They’re really funny. I’m taking Japanese Culture Study, and the prof is mad about manga. In fact, she said she did her PhD on Manga. I didn’t know you could do that. Anyway, when she started lecturing on the types of manga, and the otakus, i completely understood what she said. In fact, the way she described an extreme otaku, kind of fits me. What a revelation. Okay, so it was interesting. But she kind of heavily emphasized on shoujo manga. Can’t blame her, she’s a she. So yeah. But her view of shounen manga are very diluted, and sort of bias. She showed the extreme of both sides, but for fruit basket as one of the text? Fruit basket is one of the few shoujo manga that can be read by both male and female (as in it was sort of meant to be, though more for females). Personally, i don’t understand why people who want to read a manga with really horrible art. I wouldn’t be able to read those kinds of manga, they just make me want to throw up.

Though she is my professor, and i did learn new things from her, i think she hasn’t really gone into deep details about each. I know only slightly more about her in some parts. Well, best not to disturb the prof, right? After all, what i know may be wrong, so that is why i’m taking this course, to see what i may have not gotten right.

I had a class right after my jap culture… in the same class, so in total, i sat in the same chair for a total of 3 hours. Ouch, just like summer all over again.

Solitude within a single flame

Another day, another life.

Things happen, many things don’t. Faced with reality, can one stand tall, or shall he fall?

Listen close, listen well. Place your heart not where you are, but where it dwells.

Gather around, my children. Let the flames of the fire flicker in your souls.

Live life to the fullest, yet conserve it all. To live is to die, and to beckon to one’s call.

I have seen many things, done many things. In fact, have i led another life already? I don’t know. I have led many lives, maybe, or surely. My words, like my life is very contradictory. I say i hate to die, but in fact, i wonder what it is like? Would people miss me? I want to see it, the emotions, the pain, the anguish that my absence of life would cause. But…. i’m afraid of it. Would people cry? I wonder. And if they do, then i would want to return to that life. The one which i had abandoned.

I have lived for more than a thousand years. Seen more than million worlds, done more things that anyone, or anything has done before. A king? No, but i still look upon the worlds from my throne. Upon this seat, i have observed. I have killed. I have died. I have lived. Many times over, i have to wonder, what is it about this life that makes me want to cling onto it so dearly? In this life where i am unable to accomplish anything? Why? Why have i continued to walk in this endless dream? In this world where i am nothing, where i would amount to nothing, where i was nothing.

An interesting world, perhaps. One that is full of contradictions. Things in this life, that really is odd…. there are times, when saying nothing means everything, but others, saying everything would be nothing. Should you chase after that person? Or should you walk away? Would you reply the feelings given to you? Or would you turn to face another way? Doing what is right, may be wrong, and what is wrong, may be right. A world filled with mystery, with irony, with sarcasm, with lies, with deceit. A world filled with nothing but people. Humans…. frail mortals that walk this world. Simple minded creatures. Motivated only by what they want, what they wish, what they hope. Sometimes, it can be the source of their rather interesting strength, but most of the time, it is only the source of their desmise. I have sought out many reasons as to why humans are like this, but it isn’t revelant. Nothing is. The basic hunger of humans is certainly… amusing.

People tend to be blinded by that hunger. They cannot see anything else but their narrow world. No, it isn’t that they cannot. They refuse to see it any other way. Stubborn fools. Nothing can stay still forever. Changes happen. But time has stood still for them. Time. A cruel mistress, certainly she has many things that she would like to do. But time…. is simply a creation of creatures. Like everything around us. A simple fabrication of pitiful mortals. Time, life, death, words. Nothing but plain creation of humanity, simply to serve as a convenient tool to them. Like the creation of ‘god’. Afraid of being alone, afraid of living a life where there is no governing law, where there is not ‘leader’ to look up to. Pitiful. And no one ever stops to question about why do humans need god. A simple convenient tool for humans to use. For their defense in crimes, for their ’salvation’. Simple minded fools. Sure, it may grant temporary relief, and sure, it may be useful for them since they work hard for that. But all the same. Blinded, restricted. Refusing all other worlds.

Looking back, i have to wonder, have i walked down the same road before? Did i step in those same steps as those people? If so, then what changed? Why did i come to realize all of this? I do not know. I don’t want to know. I’m tired, all very tired of this. I’m tired of this life, tired of thinking, tired of pleasing. No one knows the real me. Because i have no real self. Born from a simple desire to be something, to live a life that is more interesting than what i used to have. I am not one, but many. In demonology, i would be similar to ‘legion’. I am many, but one. A single mind, many thoughts, a single emotion, many ways to express it. In short, i have lost sight of who i was in the beginning. But then, all i did in the past was try to please others. So, even back then, i was nothing to call my own. I must have realized it by then, most likely. Even now, all i’m doing to trying to please others. Make others praise me. No real, true goal in this life. So then, why did i come here? For what reason and purpose? I do not know.

It isn’t like i had a choice. It wasn’t like i wanted to be like this. A lost person, in a body which has no goal. Truely, since when did it become like this? Another year gone. I don’t want to see the next sun. It isn’t suppose to be like this… but i never knew what it was suppose to be like in the first place. Still! I don’t like this! I don’t want this! I can’t be selfish. There is no meaning in it. To live by accordance of the rules of humanity. Since coming here, i must have understood what they were. THERE WAS NO MEANING TO THOSE MEANINGLESS WORDS! There can be no true sense! Those laws of man, what the hell are they?! Who do they think they are?! Nothing but simple fools! As simple as they are, they are now the governing force for me. Simple, yet flawed, i see no meaning in my own reasoning sometimes. I can’t understand myself! Why do i keep myself locked up?! Why? Simple. I made my own path to where i am now. I have no regrets. All of the past experiences that i have gone through, has made up what i am now. There is not a single thing i would want to change. BUT There are things i want to change! I want to jump back, strangle and tear those that i hated! Rip through everything! Barbaric behaviour was never acceptable. I knew that. I DON’T CARE! Calming down is my top priority each time. Without a cool level head, i can never hope to accomplish anything. Being cool headed will just make me lose precious time! I shouldn’t waste time doing silly things like that! Why should i do things to please others anyway?! Why can’t i just live the way i want to? Because that isn’t the way the society of humanity was structured. To listen to others. I must understand myself why that is so. There is no meaning in understand myself. But there could be meaning in it. Meaningless.

Experiences, emotions, thoughts, feelings. All of these are the basic ingredients to create another me. After all, isn’t that what everyone is made of? Frail things…. humans always assumes, never judges. never thinks. Silly mortals. Their life is so short. Yet they think themselves as gods? They figure themselves as their own creation. Can there be any more stupid behaviour from these creatures? I think not. When they try to deviate from one thing, they end up in another thing. Silly creatures, really. These mortals tend to make big commotion from small events, and small commotion from large events. For example, over exaggeration of events, christmas, parent days, national days, birthdays. Why would you want to celebrate these things? Why? After all, time is a creation of humans, so i guess, they would want to have days where they can relax. To enjoy. But what a silly notion! I cannot even imagine a reason why any other creature would want to do it. Because that is what seperates humans from others. But that is also what makes humans think themselves as superior to other creatures. When in actual fact, they are no better and no worse, isn’t that right? Yes, very much so. Let us leave this topic aside. Humans, no matter how many times told, will never ever change their ways. Yes, they will not be able to change in time for the future. No matter what they do, they will be unable to make it. They have depended too much on things they have created. True, science and religion have brought them a considerable long journey already. But it isn’t enough. They have forgotten it already. Yes, forgotten it, thrown aside, as it has always contradicted their beliefs. Well, let us leave it then. Humans have already forgotten about it. There is no meaning to letting it go on. Soon, all will end. Yes, all will end.

And so, another year gone by…. nothing has changed. Nothing will. I will continue as i have for countless times. I will continue on this fruitless journey, searching for that which i had lost. I may never find it. Then again, i have searched many times before, but i had always found ways never to give up. Strange…. maybe that is why humans are so interesting. Even when the result is meaningless, they still struggle. But most will give up. But there are some…. who will persist. Stubborn, like i said before. It may be different from stubborn. Who knows. Well, let us see where this road will take me. This road of torns. I will walk it. As i have countless of times before me. So, blow out my last candle, and let us start on the last chapter, of this life.

The blood fountain

The body is truely a fragile thing, and like most fragile objects, they break. A broken form to which has brought only pain and suffering, and to be ignored by all others.

Be it of the helplessnes, be it of the shame. or be it of fear. We shall leave not one for others in pain.

Torn from back of an angel, these blood soaked wings would only weigh him down. It can only blind his path, for it has covered his eyes, with stained feathers.

Severe the bond from the holy saint who has yet to receive a single blessing. It would only confuse his true heart, with its selfish constant cries.

Place his trust not in the body of men, but within the soul of what men has trampled upon. Salvage what was lost, and return it not to its true owner, but to the successor of time.

Heed the words of the liar who can tell no lie. From what was right, was wrong, and follow its will to find not truth, but reality.

Worship a demon, for he can never be wrong. His guidance shall lead him down not the true path, but down the thorned road.

Seek out the flaming passion of the soul,

Call out ever infinite winds of the mind,

Let forth the pure flowing waters of the heart,

Break away the chains that bind the hardened earth of the body.

Search for what is not lost, but what is found. Hold tight what thy has, for without securing it,  it would be lost from your grasps.

Drink the waters of the fountain of blood, then let yourself decide, that should it be, or should it not be.

Look back upon thy reflection of the pool, but not be drawn by it. Should you see what you see, then all is clear, but should you see what is not seen, turn and never look back.

Be weary of what you cannot see, for eyes were made not for seeing what does not exist within our understanding. Not everyone is what they seem. Do not expose the black fangs under the sheets, for it will attack when provoked. Even if the physical form on this plane may be destroyed, be weary that its existence is not.

Blizzard’s got a screw loose

First they halt ‘Starcraft Ghost’ indefinately, and now, they start on starcraft II ALREADY???? ARE THEY FREAKING NUTS???? Sure it looks nice and all, but FUCK! Get your priorities straight! Don’t stop things in the middle of doing them! Crap shit….

Nobody move, i dropped my brain somewhere (I saw Jesus on a bike)

What a day, and what a wait for the next post. Amazing. Just came back from watching Pirates 3 The world’s end…. Well, have to say, humor is still going mighty strong, battle scenes are also great. Storyline? Not bad. Well, it was sort of…. expected, in many ways.

So me and Long finished school, with how Calgary is facing a strange summer snow storm with 15 cm of snow, and also how Freud hated people going after his own beliefs, even if he encourages free association…. bah, stupid bugger.

Anyway, so me and long went to watch pirates. Loved it to the end. Oh yes, if you read this and haven’t gone to watch the movie, please do so immediately, and don’t forget to stay behind after the credits. Nice little surprise. Maybe not, but still, interesting.

When we bought the tickets for the 8:00 show, the lady gave us the 8:30 one, well, not that i care…. all the hardcore cosplay freaks are all in the 8:00 show anywho… so me and long went on our merry way, to eat dinner. Mind you, we bought tickets for that show, at 6:30. yes, 2hrs before hand, and we weren’t the first ones in line. There were plenty of people also going in to watch the show before us. So we went for dinner, hoping seats won’t be taken. We went to burger king, i did the dumb scratch and win thingy. Choose either ‘good’ spidey, or ‘bad’ spidey. I chose good for some dumb reason and lost. As to further my depressed state, i scratched off the other side, only to find that i could have won….. free onion rings…. oh joy….

So anyway, as we ate, we noticed a dude on a bike…. this dude…. was Jesus…. or at least he looked like one of those pictures you see everywhere of Jesus. Strange though, wearing a white loose long-sleeved shirt, like how Jesus would wear, and…. shorts? ok…. also with a black utility pouch…. from the back view, he looks like Qui Gon Jin…. i’m not sure how to spell that name…. Obi won’s teacher…. one or won…. whatever. Oh yeah, it was a nice bike too.

How goody…. not many games are coming out for summer… some rpg games, but not much. I finished .hack//G.U vol2 within three days. I could have done it in two. Still, i finished it and now hunger for the last vol, which already came out in japanese, but is still unannounced in English…. fuckers. Since i have a jap ps2 now, i just feel like buying all three vols off ebay and just playing them. I understand enough jap to get me through.

Speaking of ebay, and .hack….. i was looking for .hack//fragment. It is the legendary…. REAL ONLINE .HACK GAME!!! I MEAN IT! Named after the beta test within the story of the .hack universe, .hack//Fragment allows you to play online with a bunch of friends, and you can create your own server to allow friends to join you to play. It also comes with an offline mode…. but alas…. character creation mode is quite limited, and they no longer sell it. The official server is closed, and i can’t get it. I tried looking for it on ebay, but no luck. Another thing on ebay i’ve been looking for, is the elusive ‘Shining Tears’. The most elusive of all the shining games i’ve seen, this one has evaded by grasp when i could have gotten it easily…. but, i guess my will to not buy it made me regret strongly.

Still, i can order it on ebay, i’ll just wait for next month, then i’ll order it. Sure…. i can wait that long, as long as there are sellers on ebay, that is.

I’ve started on .hack fic, even if i can’t finish anything else….. crap.

The immoral seats of power

The news of the viginia tech incident shocked the world. Certainly, it shocked me, half that is. I knew that shootings like these were common in America, but for the gunman to be a South Korean. It makes it hard for asians of any country to walk around. With eyes bearing down upon us like untrusting hawks. We must remember, that this is the first internation incident, whereas all of the previous cases were all committed by white people. Yet black people are still seen as more violent. For all those people who know distrust asians, and even to asians who distrust south koreans, let me say this. YOU ARE ALL MORONS. What does it matter to the rest of asia that one asian who went into a violent society went around shooting people? How does this one kid link to the rest of the world? HE IS JUST ONE KID. If you think you can conjecture what the entire asia is like from just one person, you must be blind. Everyone is different. Everyone is unique, no two people are the same, even if they are twins. Personalities, experiences, culture, thoughts, feelings, character, creativity, imagination and curiousity. All of these must be added into the pot before you can create a human being. Without one, you are nothing. But everyone has one, and none of them are the same. So get your head out of the clouds and slap yourself, because welcome to real life. No other country, not even South Korea, would have these sort of incidents. Europe and other countries, sure, but not as much as America. Wonder why….

Weak, that is all i can describe those people who went on mad rampages to kill. Unable to tolerate society and what is considered ‘normal’. Unable to hold within them the anger and hatred. Their jars were filled to the brim, but they did not know how to contain it. They are weak minded, that is all.

You cannot really blame it on anything external, like games and music. Why? Because there are thousands, maybe millions of kids who are in the exact same position, yet they never snap. So why? Psychologists are aiming at ‘copycat’ sort of syndrome. I cannot agree to that. Something is amiss. When i saw the ‘manifesto’ of that kid, i was wondering, who was he? No, not his name, but what was within his eyes. Empty, expressionless, like a hollow shell made into a puppet.

I do not believe that human beings are so weak as to be unable to control themselves for this sort of situation. It may sound unthinkable, but it is possible that these kids were controlled. Not by games or music or by following other shootings. No. There is something wrong, and amiss. It feels as though he is a scapegoat for something else. When all eyes are drawn to him, something should be happening.

Ma told me last night. If i keep playing games, it will cost me my grades. I know that. In fact, i know more than she does. But she did not realize, that everything we do, is a cause an effect case. There is no such thing as a free thing. When you do something, it comes at the expense of something else, and it will also produce another thing. The universal price for everything? Time. We pay time for everything we do. Like tiny pennies, it may be sufficient for some things we do, whereas others, time must be paid with something, to get something else. Of course, the price for life, is death. But is it possible to skip the payment and get off it? Because, though we were given life, we were also given hardships to live through. I believe we have long paid our dues.

What is man’s greatest enemy? Simple, man himself. No one else. We are our own creators, and our own destroyers. “God is not a handyman to answer the calls of the weak.” “God was created for the weak” “The strong has no need for God.” These lines came from a comic i read. For all religious people, you may complain and object, i won’t say anything. But if you step back from your belief for a moment, these are true. Who seeks ‘God’ the most? Those in times of need. The weak. The strong have no need for ‘God’, because they know they have challenges ahead of them and cannot focus as much. In times of despair, we tend to blame almost everything. I saw on the news, some students at VT were calling the shooter a ‘monster’. I did not make it up. They did call him that. It makes me wonder, why must people still do this? He is no monster, he is a human being. People can then ask, how can you call a person who mindlessly shoots people a human being? How? Easy, just say it. Humans are strong and yet frail. Did you know that everyone is capable of just shooting everyone and everything else around them? Yes, you may say, ‘i wouldn’t do that’, but i know. I studied psychology, and i know that all humans are capable of mass murder. The thing is, what made this person cross the threshold that humans have placed there. A taboo, as some may say. Because some things make us uneasy, therefore we avoid it, look down at it, hate it. But these are not laws of nature. No, these are laws of humanity. Rules made up by humans and no one else. Like language, also is the work of man.

…. Xuan is no longer around. No, he didn’t die. But he is no longer in control. I’m wizard. And i’ve taken over for quite some time already. He is lost, and i cannot find him. Just hope he hasn’t gone insane yet….

Baring the fangs of the beast within (Frenchfries on the side)

i’ve always wondered, what my future would hold. As i said before, i could once see into my own future, at most by a week, but even so, it was amazing. I knew when things were to going to happen and stuff. And i could see myself in different places. It’s almost like the movie ‘next’, but that movie isn’t out yet. I guess…. even if i could see into my own future, i was still surprised by it. I never knew when it would happen, only knew it would. Sometimes, the timing of things were just too…. weird, so those images had no meaning at the timing of viewing.

Well, one other thing i had, and i actually still have, is the vision of future events in dreams. Premonitions, somewhat…. but only of my future. It is different from the capability of seeing into my future when i’m awake. That strength is gone, long gone, and that one has the capability for me to remember it. For dreams…. i can forget about it the moment i wake up, and when i go through the event, i remember it, like i’m going through constant deja vu…… Scary if you think about it. I take pauses very often because of this…..

I think i knew what gong gong was trying to tell me in my dream some time ago. I had a dream about three months back…. Gong gong was in my dream. He nodded his head to me, as though approving of something. I never knew what it was. Then…. i remembered…. he smiled. I rarely saw Gong gong smile, especially with the more recent memories of him when he was still alive…. he always had a groucy look on him… but then again… he did smile. It was a long time ago…. he did smile to me. But in my dream, it was totally bizzare…. my family trying to revive gong gong…. now that is just going too far. But now i know what he represented in my dream. I realized this after so long, that i blame myself for not noticing it earlier. Really…. i’m so stupid. I am his grandson. I know that. Gong gong…. he was smiling because he was trying to reassure me. He was trying to tell me that it’s all alright. In my time of worry, i could not help but feel like everything was going to end. While gong gong’s intention may not be that, i can’t help but feel that way. Like he was telling me that no matter what road i choose, no matter what choices i make or what happens to me, he was telling me to keep walking on it. During that time, i was carrying a heavy guilt for a lot of things. The guilt that weighed on my shoulders were breaking my mind, and that dream occurred.

Honestly, it just freaked the shit out of me. Seeing gong gong in my dream when i never had anything related to him close to me in so long. But to see the normally groucy looking gong gong smile…. it was nice. Of course i did not know what to make of it, and only three months after that dream… i came to realization. My life is mine to make. Gong gong walked down his, and so will everyone else. There is no right or wrong answer to everything. There isn’t just one answer to every question, but multiple. Like how everyone has more than one face to them. Everything has more than one face to them, be it the forces of nature, which can nuture and nurish, or destroy and obliderate, or the powers from above (which i don’t really believe in them). So in the end, this is my road. This is my life, my world. Everyone will scorn me and look down on me, but i will not care. There is no such thing as ‘normal’. There is only the way we each live our lives.

Anyway, onto other matters. Looks like my mom has just left the airport and is en route here. While i do not wish her harm on the way, or at anytime, there is a part of me…. that wishes that everything would just disappear. No worries, no pain. Just the silence of solitude. But many things has happened. And i have come to realize something. Solitude may be an answer, but it should be my answer. Humans were born with the yearn to be in company of others. A life of solitude should not exist, it must not exist. But yet it does, as does the word still lives. And words, never die.

My path is darkened now. And the chains of fate will once more wrap itself around me. I know what is to become of me. And just as my own chains are binding me in, the chains that kept the horror of horrors within me is starting to break. It is angry,and it is ready to kill. This creature…. is worse than anything i have let out before. He is the one thing that i remember receiving from that pact i made so long ago. A pact made by a foolish young boy, with something he could not even understand. And even now, he cannot understand. I do have any memories of who i did it with, but i know that that was the day the beast was chained within me. Anger, hatred, irritation, agitation, frustration, jealousy…. these which fuel him, and guilt with regret, that brings him closer to being free…. understand, that this is not simply a person’s mental mind snapping at stress. This is much more than that. Once he is released, i will no longer have any control. And i do not know when that is. At times, he is so close to being free that i feel like i’m no longer able control myself. And at other times, he leaves no trace for sometime that i forget he exists in the first place. Now, i must steel myself for the inevitable.

Well, this might be the last post that i will make in Canada. There will be another time, but as i’ve known before, my future, is dark as ever. Though i know not to believe the omens of cards too much, it is clear that the cards have acted like a catalyst for the event to occur. Well, let’s just hope that i don’t get skinned for my failures. …. May i will get skinned… either way.